A drop in the Ocean
by Lena Criss
Summary: Set at the beginning of "Can't fight this Feeling". What happens when your friendship is just only excusing and not as tight as it was? Are you able to come back together? Are you able to work things out? And more important, will everything be the same? Japril & other friendships.
1. Don't play the gentleman

**Chapter I: Don't play the gentleman**

**Hi,  
so this is my first FF, and I'm pretty nervous ^^  
It takes place after the episode "Can't Fight This Feeling", it's very A/U and I hope you give it a shot :)  
I already wrote about twelve chapters and I have no idea how long it will be.  
Oh, and I'm sorry when there are mistakes, I'm german and nobody read it beta, so I'm sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a single thing from Grey's**

* * *

_"So take a look at me now, Well, there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face Oh, take a look at me now, Well, there's just an empty space And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face"_

Jackson went tired in his office, he was sick of the comments from his colleagues. Did they seriously thought he was happy about being the chief? He sat down and watched the big reams of charts on his desk. Annoyed exhaled Jackson and placed his head on his palms. A few moments later he heard a knocking on his door. Jackson grumbled and April appeared in the door, she seemed to be really nervous. He smiled weak at her while she took a seat in front of him.

"Hey, can I help you?" He tried to sound as casual as possible, but he was sure, she noticed the insecurity in his voice.

He felt bad about what happened a few weeks ago. When he told her, that he slept with Stephanie, she started crying and admitted she just wanted to kiss him. Deep inside he wanted too, but however, he just stood there paralyzed. And now that she had Matthew, the paramedic, he felt a lot worse.

"I need your help indeed. Can you please perform the surgery on Matt? And can I please be there by his side?"

Jackson raised his eyebrow in disbelief and asked her: "Really? You ask me to perform a surgery on your boyfriend?"

April stooped, she knew that he wouldn't be pleased about it but she hadn't expect he would be so mad at her.

"Please Jackson, you're the best plastic surgeon here, I trust you...Please Jackson...please!", she begged and bit on her bottom lip.

Jackson avoided her gaze, what should he do? On the one hand, he would do everything for her, but on the other hand, he was afraid about what she would do with him if he'd make a mistake.

He replied his thoughts: "What if I make a mistake? Do you know under which pressure I'd stand while you're watching me perform a surgery on your boyfriend?"

April should have known better. How could she asked Jackson, to which she had admitted that she wanted him, to perform a surgery on her boyfriend?

"Whatever, Jackson...It was selfish from me to ask you. After all that happened between us in the past few weeks. I'm sorry...I just needed my be- anyway...", April said with tears in her eyes while she stood up and walked to the door.

Jackson got up fast, caught her hand and pulled her into him. April had to caught her breath, she had never expect that Jackson would embraced her, and now she started to cry, big baby tears. She missed her best friend, his warm and muscled body, his everything. Jackson caressed her head and murmured soothing words while he had to fight with his feelings.

"I'll do it." he said quietly.

"Hey, just because I-I-I started crying, you don't have to play the gentleman, Jackson.", she whispered in his chest, so he barely understood her.

"I'm a surgeon, it's my duty. And...I would do everything for my best friend.", he ended slowly.

Now April just started to cry even more, and breathed: "I missed you as my best friend."

Jackson closed his eyes and pulled her closer into him, he had missed her too.

"You're shivering, is everything okay with you?", he asked caring.

"I'm just worried about Matt...And about you. You're stressed and this all is too much to take for you at the moment. I mean I can help you with that stuff if you want..." She answered quietly.

Jackson chuckled and said: "No, you don't have to help me, you have enough to do in the pit. I guess I could probably handle it, but thanks."

They were still standing there cuddling and it didn't bothered them in any way. Then suddenly April's pager went on and broke their silence.

"I'm sorry...heading trauma...sorry." she said excusing and smiled at Jackson.

"It's okay April. So I see you later at the cafeteria?", he asked shy.

April nodded happily and walked out of the room.

"Oh! April, wait!" he called.

April stuck in the doorframe and turned around.

" I meant it seriously, I'll do the surgery. And you'll be there.", Jackson said with a weak smile.

April smiled uncontrollable, ran to him and kissed him on the cheek:

"Thank you, it means a lot to me."

Jackson smiled mischievously and waved at her while she ran to the pit.

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**I would love to read what you think of it, it would help me a lot. :)**


	2. Matter of life and death

**Chapter II: Matter of life and death**

**Hey,  
first, thank for the reviews!  
I'm sorry, that the first chapters are so short, but they get longer :-)**

Disclaimer: Same as usual

* * *

_"Rescue me  
Show me who I am  
'Cause I can't believe  
This is how the story ends  
Fight for me  
If it's not too late  
Help me breathe again  
No, this can't be how the story ends"_

"You're ready, April?", Jackson asked quietly while he washed his hands in the scrub room.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm happy that you perform the surgery, I can't thank you enough.", she replied while her boyfriend was rolled into the OR.

Jackson smiled a little sad at her, it hurt him to see April so agonized and he wanted to do everything to comfort her but he couldn't, the pain from the last days was too heavy. He was freaking jealous that Matt had April, and not he. Sure, Matt was a nice guy, but Jackson wasn't able to see the two so happy, while he had to deal with the hospital and the other crap. He was mad at himself, how the hell could he been so foolish that he slept with Stephanie?

"I'm a dumbass..." Jackson murmured to his self, but April noticed that he had said something so she asked:

"You're really okay with this?"

He shrugged and left the washroom to start the surgery. Matthew was already asleep so he looked one last time at April and was about to begin but suddenly the heart-monitor started to beep. Jackson looked shocked to April, she couldn't move so he went to Matthew's chest and started the resuscitation.

"Why is he flat lining?", asked April high-pitched.

"Stop the anesthetic immediately!", demanded Jackson, he was sure Matthew was allergic to the anesthetic.

The anesthetist stopped it like him was told and slowly Matthew recovered.

"Please bring him back to his room, I guess I have to talk to him before we operate on him with an local anesthetic.", Jackson said slowly and turned around to April, she stand there shivering and starred at her boyfriend while he was rolled out of the OR.

He walked around the operating table, grabbed softly both of her arms and whispered:

"Come, we need to get outta here, April..."

As soon as they were out of reach April turned around and felt into Jackson's arm, grasped his torso like it was a matter of life and death and Jackson put his arms even tighter around her to comfort her. April's mind was overfilled with emotions, but the most important for her was that she was laying in Jackson's arms, safe and warm.

"He will be fine, I promise April...He just had a really hard allergic shock which almost killed him but he's alive to...love you and be your boyfriend...", Jackson ended sadly while he started to caress her back.

"It...it hurts you to s-s-say things like this...to me...about Matt, right?", April asked and looked up to him, their faces were almost touching.

"A little bit, I mean you're my best friend, and we had something going on..." Jackson admitted quietly and sad.

April closed her eyes agonized, she knew that Jackson lied, it broke his heart in thousand pieces. And it hurt her to see her best friend so hurt.

"What the hell? Kepner I never thought you would be a cheater! Isn't the paramedic your boyfriend?", sounded Karev's voice a few meters away from them.

April turned around and said angry:

"Yeah, Karev, that's right, Matthew is my boyfriend. But no, I'm not a cheater, okay? By the way, is it your business with who I'm doing what? Not it's not, so just go."

Jackson knew he shouldn't be, but he was pretty turned on by April yelling at Karev, it was kinda sexy. And that April hold his hand didn't helped it in any way.

Alex opened his mouth, closed it again and said laughing: "Then just keep going with what you're doing with whoever."

April nodded still angry at him.

"That was...impressive.", Jackson chuckled.

"Thank you! Now we gotta go and tell Matthew that the OR-plans changed.", April laughed too and smiled at him.

Jackson laid his head crooked and smiled bright at her back:

"Are you more or less fine again?".

April loved that caring side of Jackson so she squeezed his hand that she was holding the whole time and said:

"Yes, thanks to you, Jackson. Not only for being here for me, but also for saving Matt's life."

Jackson smiled back at her, put one arm around her shoulder and walked with her to Matthew's room.

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**Usually, I would love to read what you think about it!  
The next chapter will be posted on saturday or sunday :)**


	3. Sloan's advice

**Hey,  
first,thanks again for the reviews!  
So, I was asked whether I could write about drama between Stephanie and April.  
I already thought about it, but the problem is that in the show April treats Stephanie like there was no "Stackson" (Urgh, how I hate this word, and it's not even a relationship,though -.-). I guess I carry on like this for a few chapters but towards the 13th or 14th chapter it's going to change.  
So thank you for the idea! :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as usual**

* * *

**Chapter III:Sloan's Advice**

_"But there's something inside that I need to release  
Which way is right, which way is wrong  
How do I say that I need to move on  
You know we're headed separate ways"_

"Do you want to tell him? Or should I? Or should I leave you alone for a moment?", Jackson asked unconfident before the two entered Matthew's room.

"You go with me, you tell him and I'll play the worried girlfriend, what about that?", April asked not a bit insecure.

Jackson was surprised how April turned from the crying, almost-lost-her-boyfriend girl into that hot, confident and perky woman. He couldn't help himself, he just started to smile mischievously.

"Hey, how are you?", asked April immediately when they entered the room.

"Shouldn't I lay here in bandages to protect my new skin?", Matthew answered with a smile.

"Yeah, as far as that goes, I haven't operated you yet, we had complications...you coded. The reason for this complications was your allergic to the anesthetic, you had a bad allergic shock which caused a cardiac arrest", Jackson went on and waited for Matthew's reaction.

"I...I-I-I coded? So I can't undergo surgery?", Matthew asked and locked in shock to April.

"Don't you worry, I operate you, but this time you get a local anesthetic. I wanted to inform you before we begin something without your permission. Hope that's okay for ya.", Jackson said with a smile.

"I'm fine with it, thanks. So when do I'll get the surgery?", asked Matthew.

"Tomorrow morning, so we can be sure all the anesthetic is out of your body.", completed Jackson.

"Is it okay, when I talk for a moment to Matt?", April asked Jackson and he nodded.

"So I see you tomorrow morning in the OR, Matthew.", Jackson ended the conversation and left the room.

"Thanks for saving my life, April," Matthew said to April with a smile that showed all his love to her.

April bit on her bottom lip and admitted: "Actually brought Jackson you back to life... I stood there in shock..."

Matthew looked at her with a unbelievable sad glimpse. "You just stood there? And I thought you would do that for me..."

"What? I saw my boyfriend coding, sorry if I didn't jump on his torso immediately and brought him back to life! I was paralyzed!", April defended furious.

"If you haven't got those fast reflexes, how can you be a surgeon?", Matthew argued upset.

"I never expected something like this from you, Matthew.", April whispered disappointed and left the room.

* * *

Jackson walked into the attendings lounge, finding Karev having lunch. He was still a little pissed that he interrupted them, but it was in Karev's nature to see in every close friendly relationship a sexual one. But he wasn't so wrong...

" Tell me, what's going on between you and Kepner?" Alex inquired with a mischievously smile.

" Something that's none of your business, Alex." Jackson responded while he made a coffee.

" I know that you have feelings for her. Go and tell her!" Alex advised and Jackson sat down.

"Sometimes I hope you'd be more like Sloan. He always had the best advices..." Jackson considered out loud.

And then suddenly the insight struck him by lightning. Sloan had given him the advice. Jackson remembered the last words of his mentor:

_,,I want you to promise me something... If you love someone, you'll tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing, even if you're scared that it will cause problems, even if you're scared that it'll burn your life to the ground. You say it and you say it out loud."_

The plastic attending got up fast on his feet and argued to himself:

"I'm such a dork. God, I can't believe it, I...urgh!"

"Finally you see it, dude!" Alex laughed and looked at Jackson.

"But I can't...now. I have to..." Jackson murmured to himself.

"Man, can you please talk louder, I'd like to understand ya!" Alex said annoyed.

Jackson should've told April so much earlier, he shouldn't have told her only the he has feelings for her. But he couldn't just walk to April and admit that he's in love with her, she was currently in a relationship, it would be crazy if he'd do. But what if April and Matthew would be happy forever, when should he tell her? But he was also her best friend, he should be happy for her, and do everything to support their relationship. Jackson was totally in a jam...

"Whatever, Alex... Don't you have the shift tonight in the ER?"

"Yeah, why you're asking?"

"Actually, I just want to ask you whether we could swap our shifts," Jackson asked and sat down again.

"Oh! Sure, Robbins will be there, so yeah...we can change." Alex replied and ate a part of his sandwich

"Thanks, man!" Jackson smiled, it was good that they changed, April had her shift tonight too, so maybe he could spend some time with her...

"Wait a hot second, isn't Kepner tonight in the pit too?" His friend asked with raised eyebrows.

"Possible..." Jackson smiled mischievously and left the room...

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**I second-guess my Matthew and April break-up, but I would like to read what you think about it, though. :)**  
**Because I have this crappy english exam about argumentativ writing next week I can't post the next chapter until wednesday, I'm sorry :(**


	4. I thought he's your boyfriend

**Hey,  
thank you so much for the lovely reviews, and here's the next chapter! :)**

Disclaimer: Same as usual

* * *

**Chapter IV: I thought he's your boyfriend**

_"And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here"_

April walked frustrated to the nurse station, she needed something that would cheer her up. Why was Matt so mean to her? Maybe she could blame it to the anesthetic, but no that couldn't be possible. One of the nurses gave her a chart, her patient was a little girl called Lou Anderson which had a appendectomy, nothing really dangerous.

"Hey Lou, my name's Dr. Kepner. How are you feeling?"

"I feel a lot better, thanks!" The little girl answered smiling.

"That's great! I'm just checking you sutures, can you please raise your shirt a bit so I can check them?" April asked friendly, she thought the girl was adorable.

April examined the sutures closely, until now they looked good.

"Dr. Kepner, may I ask you something?" Lou asked shy.

"Yeah, of course you may!" April replied smiling.

"Who's the doctor checking the boy at the window? The tanned, tall man..." The little blonde questioned blushed.

April looked to the boy at the window and discovered Jackson starring at her. When their glimpses met, he smiled at her and she back.

"That's Dr. Avery, why you're asking?" April asked a little confused.

"He's looking at you the whole time...I thought he's your boyfriend." Lou chuckled quietly and looked down at her hands.

"Oh he does? No, he's my best friend, I know him for a long time." April smiled, the little girl was really cute. And she had to smile even brighter, because Lou thought Jackson was her boyfriend. But she was a little confused why the girl thought he was her boyfriend.

"What is Dr. Avery like?"

April hadn't expected this question, so she was very confused and had to think about it a moment. What was Jackson like?

"Ehm...Dr. Avery is one of the most caring people I know... He would always support his family, even if his embarrassing mother did something really awkward, he would always be there for her... And Dr. Avery would always protect his friends and family. He's there when you need someone to hold on to or just to cheer you up...he's just..."

April couldn't go on, she was surprised by what she just said. Sure, everything what she said was true, but the late realization surprised her. He was just...

"Amazing?" Lou proposed smiling.

"At the minimum!" April chuckled.

"That's great! Do you have a boyfriend? Is he a doctor too?" Lou asked interested.

April exhaled, but smiled and answered:,, Yes, I have, but he's a paramedic."

"Is your boyfriend like Dr. Avery? ." The blonde questioned while April filled out the chart.

Damn, Lou was perfect in asking unexpected questions, questions that made April think about how much she loved Matt. And again, she had to think about it a moment.

"No, not really..." April answered honestly, while she had to blink slowly and looked at some random point at the wall.

"Well...anyway, your sutures look great, so you can go home tomorrow." April told the little girl and was about to go, when Lou admitted:

"Dr. Kepner, I think you and Dr. Avery would be cute together!"

April laughed, turned around and looked to Jackson, saying:

"Yeah. Yeah, we would."

* * *

He had to say it to her. Even if it might sounds selfish from him to admit it while she was in a relationship with Matthew. Jackson had to tell her. But first he should clear some things up with another girl...

"Dr. Edwards! Can I talk to you for a second?" Jackson asked Stephanie at the nurse station.

"Yeah, sure. What is it?" The intern inquired back and stayed at the station.

"Not here, you come with me?" Jackson said quietly and directed her to an supply closet.

"Now please tell me what's up, Jackson!" Stephanie demanded impatient.

"We...we can't have sex anymore. I mean...I can't." Jackson answered and tried to avoid her glimpse.

"Oh! Am I not good enough? I mean, I could try to be better -" Stephanie started fast but Jackson interrupted her by saying:

"What? No, you're great! It's me..."

"Why can't you?"

Jackson couldn't tell her that he wanted stop sleeping with her because of April, he had to tell her something else...

"I mean...I'm the head of the board of directors, and you're an intern...I-I-I don't think that's a good idea. And it's also something per- whatever."

"It's going to be hard to find such a great body again..." Stephanie said with eyes a bit watery.

"Ehm...thanks? But I'm sure you find someone better than me, one who doesn't only want to be your sex buddy." Jackson said sad smiling at her, even though he felt freaking guilty for making her almost cry.

Stephanie smiled back weak and went out of the storeroom.

Jackson felt terrible for ending the sex relationship with Stephanie like that, but the foresight of better chances to be with April, made the "break-up" worth it. Now that he cleared that, he left the supply closet empty...


	5. You and me

**Hi,  
I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to upload on wednesday, but the internet connection in little villages aren't always stable ;-)  
So, this is the first time there's some OR action. To be honest, I have no idea how this situation would be handled from real surgeons, so it could be total crap ;-)  
Like always, I would appreciate your reviews :)**

Dislaimer: I sadly don't own the great characters from Grey's :(

* * *

**Chapter V: You and me**

_"What, what kind of fool  
Tears it apart?  
Leaving me pain and sorrow  
Losing you now wonderin' why  
Where will I be tomorrow?"_

Jackson was a bit nervous about the shift tonight, he would be with April the whole night. He had no idea why he felt so, anyhow he was all the time in the same building as she was, so it wouldn't be so different...Right?

"Jackson? Why are you still here?" April asked confused, because it was now half past eleven, he actually should be at home already.

"Karev and I swop shifts." Jackson answered smiling, he hoped she wouldn't mind.

"Oh good! You're so much more pleasant than Karev. Thanks for swapping!" April chuckled and closed her chart.

"You...wanna talk about the surgery tomorrow?" Jackson inquired unconfident.

"Nah, it's not a big deal and I believe in your abilities. But talking 'bout Matt, you know what he said to this morning?" April smiled but then she started to sound angry when she mentioned her boyfriend.

"Haha, thanks! Nope, tell me." Jackson chuckled and moved closer to her.

"He is mad at me because you did the CPR! I mean, really?" April started furious.

Jackson raised his eyebrows in disbelief, first he thought Matthew was a nice guy and second he never met a person that wasn't happy that he or she was brought back to life.

"You're kidding! I think I go to him and excuse me for saving his life..." Jackson joked which obviously improved her mood because she started to laugh a little.

"I mean, why is he doing this? Why is he suddenly mean to me?...Ah, shit. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned - " April started but a nurse interrupted by saying:

"We have an incoming trauma in ten minutes, shooting, two guys are badly shot."

"Oh no..." Jackson whispered and scratched his neck, he always had that bad feeling when someone said shooting. Sure, it was because of the shooting here at the hospital, but he had still nightmares, not every night, but sure once a week. And every time it was the same scene, the one in which April was shot, and Jackson saw her dying.

"Damn it. Well let's go..." April swore and headed to the emergency bay.

Jackson followed her, grabbed one of the yellow gowns and took one for April, because she forgot hers.

"Here, take it." Jackson smiled and gave it to April, she chuckled and said:

"Thanks, I guess I'm nervous and forgot..."

"So am I..." Jackson murmured more to himself, but April realized it and took his hand, squeezed it and said:

"We can do this, you and me. Right?"

Jackson had to suppress the urge to kiss April. She said "You and me", sure he could make now a lot of stuff up in his mind, something like she loved him...nah, he shouldn't do it...

But instead he squeezed her hand and replied smiling:

"Yeah, you and me."

* * *

Jackson actually thought April would release his hand but she hold it the whole time until the ambulance arrived.

The first one opened and the paramedic Nicole came out and gave the information about her patient:

"Noah Tallyn. 26. Shot in the stomach and close to his heart. Went unconscious the way here. Blood Pressure drops."

Then the second ambulance opened, and the paramedic form this one said:

"Toby McCrea. 24. Shot twice in the heart. Went into cardiac arrest."

"Okay good, I take McCrea. Page Yang." Jackson said, he wanted that April took the "easier" one. He didn't want that April would have to do this.

While they rolled Toby into the hospital, he suddenly started to scream. It was painful. Jackson had never heard someone scream so painful and suddenly felt sick.

"Give him morphine. The strongest you got. Now!" Jackson demanded loud to drown the screaming.

"Okay, Toby, Listen to me, you're going to be fine. I'll fix it, you'll survive it. In a few seconds you won't feel the pain anymore." Jackson still tried to drown his patient. The more his patient screamed, the more Jackson felt sick - he had a bad feeling.

They went strictly to the next OR. Toby got fast his morphine and was then on anesthetics.

"Dr. Yang will be here in ten minutes. Until then I'll help you." Robbins said, she had followed him.

"Okay thanks. I think, at first we try to take a look on how much his heart is damaged. And where the cartridges are. Or what do you think?"

"Sounds good. Well then, let's go." Arizona nodded and looked at Jackson.

"Yeah."

Jackson took the scalpel and cut the men's chest. A huge squall of blood came out of it.

"Ah damn it, his pericardium is full of blood. Aspirator please." Jackson swore.

"You think we can find de cartridges in all of that?" Arizona asked.

"Hope so, I think it's better we just suck the blood out and wait until Yang arrives. Administer him stored blood." The head of plastics demanded and looked at the monitor. It dropped slowly.

"Fuck. His blood pressure drops. Get ready for a CPR."

"But Jackson, you can't just squeeze his heart, what about the cartridges?" Arizona inquired.

"Well than we can't wait for Yang." Jackson decided.

Jackson tried to find the spot where all the blood came from, and after a little searching he found the first cartridges, it stuck.

"I found one. Wait, when will Yang will be here?"

Just in time, the door opened and Christina came in.

"So what do we got?" She asked and went to the operating table.

"Shot in the heart twice. Jackson found one cartridge, and the pericardium was full of blood and we sucked out the blood. He just wanted to start pulling out the cartridge."

"Okay good. Avery, you help me. You will stitch the hole in the heart and I will get out the cartridge. Robbins, hold the aspirator, please." Christina demanded.

Suddenly the monitor started to beep.

"Damn it, you're ready, Avery? And start the OR clock!" Christina swore and looked to Jackson. He nodded.

"Okay, I take out the cartridge and you have to start stitching immediately. On three. One-Two-Three!"

After Christina took out the cartridge a lot of blood came out, so Jackson had problems with the stitching.

"We have to reanimate him soon...Otherwise his brain would take damage!" Arizona informed the two doctors.

"The stitch is done." Jackson added and looked up to Christina.

"Looks good. Now we have to find the other one fast."

"Here! Here's the other one!" Jackson said and pointed at the spot.

"It's in his pulmonary artery...Shit, we've got a problem." Christina said and had to think about what they should do next.

"He will bleed out, when we take the cartridge out. Damn it..."

"We have to reanimate him now! Maybe the cartridge wouldn't move..." Arizona demanded.

"Okay, we have to try it. Avery, squeeze the heart." Christina said to Jackson and looked at the OR clock, the monitor beeped since 2 minutes and 20 seconds - it was time.

Jackson started to squeeze the heart, and three time it went good, but then the cartridge popped out and a huge squall of blood came out.

"I stitch it!" Christina said and started.

Jackson stopped and looked at the monitor, the beep hasn't stopped. He felt more and more sick, he just wanted, that his patient survived this, like he promised him.

"We're losing him..." Arizona murmured.

"No, we're not." Jackson said determined.

"I fixed this stitch." Christina said and looked to Jackson.

He started immediately the reanimation. The first two time it went well, but then suddenly the first stitch tore and blood came out the wound.

"We lose him, his vein is too thin, with every stitch we just make it more broken..." Christina agreed.

"No, no, no!" Jackson whispered desperate.

"Jackson, stop it. We lost him..."Arizona said next to him, and laid one hand on his shoulder.

Jackson exhaled and left the OR. He felt bad because they couldn't saved the life of Toby McCrea... Jackson blamed himself that his patient died, if he had started earlier with stitching the cartridge wounds, Toby would probably live. Everything Jackson wanted was April. He just wanted to be hugged by her. That she tell him that everything will be fine.

He took off his OR scrub, washed his hands and headed to the pit. But April wasn't here. He looked at his watch, it was quarter to one in the morning. She was probably in the OR saving the life of her patient...Jackson was tired, he hadn't slept that much last night, maybe 2 or 3 hours. He looked for the next on-call room and hoped it was empty - luckily it was. Jackson took of his scrub shirt and lay down at the next bed. He looked up to the ceiling, he felt terrible. But why did this made him feel so bad? Normally when he had tried to safe someone and this person later died, he felt a bit bad. Sure he was honestly sorry for the family, but he had never felt so bad before. Jackson closed slowly his eyes and it didn't take long until he fell asleep...

* * *

**I just needed some cute stuff between Japril, so yeah :)  
I upload the next chapter on monday, because I'm busy over the weekend. For the next chapters I'll try to upload them every sunday and wednesday so stay tuned ;-)  
Thanks again for the nice reviews :* **


	6. Still fighting

**Hey,  
so this chapter will be a little Shonda-like, I don't know whether I should be sorry or not ;-)**

* * *

**Chapter VI: Still fighting**

_"A drop in the ocean,  
A change in the weather,  
I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,  
But I'm holding you closer than most,  
'Cause you are my heaven"._

April saved Noah Tallyn's life. He was in ICU, but he lived. She really wanted to know how Jackson's OR was, so she set out for looking after him. On her way she met Christina and because April knew that she had been in the same OR as Jackson, she asked her:

"Hey Christina! Do you know where Jackson is?"

"Do I look like his babysitter? But, no I don't know where he is. But Kepner, you should better talk to him...He's pretty agitated, maybe you can calm him a bit down." Christina answered in her normal Christina-way and put on her coat.

"What happened?" April asked worried. Normally Jackson wouldn't get so fast agitated.

"We lost our patient." Christina said and put on her scarf.

"Oh! I'm sorry...I look what I can do." April proposed and thought about where Jackson could be.

She first looked in his office, but no Jackson. Her second stop was in the pit, but here was no Jackson too. April went to the nurse station and asked for help.

"Hi, can you please help me...Have you seen Dr. Avery?"

"Yes, he was here fifteen minutes ago, he went there." The nurse answered and pointed to the next hallway.

"Good, thank you!" April said politely and headed to the direction the nurse had showed her.

She looked through the little window in each room, and she finally found Jackson in a on-call room. April opened the door as quiet as possible and discovered Jackson shirtless and sleeping. He looked peaceful while he slept, but suddenly his face turned painful and he started to box with his legs.

"No! Don't kill her! Shoot me! But please don't kill April!" Jackson murmured loud.

April stood there paralyzed. Did he seriously said, the shooter should kill him instead of her?

"Don't touch her!" Jackson now said louder. And then he started to scream, meanwhile he sat in the bed.

April ran to his bed, sat down at the side of the bed and put her arms around his chest, his forehead slipped between her shoulder and her neck. She started to ran her hand up and down his back, murmuring a little desperate:

"I'm fine, Jackson. I'm fine. Here's no shooter. You're safe. And so am I. You don't have to scream. We're fine."

Jackson had stopped screaming, but he shivered like hell. He slowly woke up and realized that April hold him tight. She still ran her hand up and down his back while Jackson had to breathe hard.

"Hey you..." April breathed worried.

"I-I-I'm sorry, that I woke you up..." Jackson whispered, still in the spot between April's shoulder and neck.

"No, no, I didn't slept, don't worry. I actually just wanted to look after you." April breathed back.

Jackson looked up, so he could look her in the eyes. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, but even when their faces where almost touching, she didn't move back.

"H-h-how are you?" April stuttered, she was surprised how near their faces were. But she liked it.

"I don't know...I feel terrible because I lost my patient...I guess..." Jackson admitted whispering.

Jackson really had to fight with his feelings. She was so close, and she didn't seemed to dislike it. April was confused. A huge storm of feelings for Jackson approached in her. Okay, they had been there for a really long time, but not that strong. But what was with Matthew? He had been mean to her and now that there were those feelings for Jackson which just broke out...and of course her chat with Lou...

"I'm so sorry for you..." was the only thing April was able to say while she tried to avoid his gaze.

But April couldn't resist, so she looked up into his eyes again. He still breathed hard and he also shivered, but not so bad like one minute ago.

Jackson didn't want that April would feel uncomfortable, he had to remind himself, that he just was her best friend. Just her best friend. As hard as it was for him, he slowly moved his head back.

"Thank you..." Jackson whispered, and he really meant it.

"You look tired, you should sleep...It's quarter past one, and you have a surgery in seven hours, so it would be the best if you sleep, Jackson..." April said quiet.

"Probably. But what about you? I'm not the only one who looks tired, and you'll be at the surgery too. So you should sleep a little." Jackson whispered while he slowly fell down at the mattress again.

"Can I sleep with you?" April asked.

Jackson raised up his torso and frowned confused at her. Did she asked him to sleep with her? No, she meant something else, she had to.

"I-I-I-I mean next to you. By your side." April stuttered and blushed, it was visible even though it was dark in the room.

What the hell happened to her? April regretted what she just said. How could she asked Jackson this?

"Yeah...of course..." Jackson said perplexed, but he had to chuckle a little.

"Should...should I put my shirt on?" He asked cautionary. Jackson was still totally confused about what just happened. This had to be a crazy dream. Seriously.

"No, you don't have to. But I should take off my gown..." April answered, the last part more to herself.

While April stood up, Jackson laid back at the mattress. He had to smile uncontrollably, so... April would sleep by his side. He wasn't sure whether he would survive this night emotionally.

April undo her ponytail and laid herself next to Jackson, but placed her head on his chest. Jackson had to gasp, but luckily, it was inaudible. So April would sleep the night on his naked chest. Nope, he wouldn't survive the night, that was for sure. Jackson was more worried about surviving the night when April placed one hand on his chest and curled into his side. Damn it.

"Is that okay for you?" April asked unconfident and shy.

"Hmm-hmm" Jackson answered.

And then they were quite. Jackson was totally confused. Why laid April on his chest? This morning she cried because her boyfriend almost died!? Sure, Jackson was happy that April was where she was, but it was all so unclear to him. They needed to talk. Seriously.

April was pretty satisfied with laying on Jackson's chest, his heartbeat was just comforting. While she laid there she had to think about her relationship with Matt. Sure, he was a nice guy and he was really sympathetic...but he wasn't like Jackson. And what he said about her this morning made him less like Jackson. Damn it, she was total in love with her best friend. Yeah, she was it the whole time, but while she was with Matt, she tried to suppress it a bit. A bit. April had to break up with Matt. But how should she do it?

And maybe because she was freaking tired, confused about what happened between her and Jackson her eyes started to fill with tears. One made it and run down her cheek and landed on Jackson's chest.

He noticed the tear, opened his eyes and started to ran his hand up and down April's arm before asking worried:

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I-I-I just had to think about me and Matt..." April sniveled, but she regretted it immediately.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned him, I'm -" She tried to excuse but Jackson interrupted her:

"You don't always have to excuse you when you talk about Matt, I'm your best friend, remember? So, tell me, what's wrong?"

"I-I- Thank you. I just don't think that I love him enough anymore to be his girlfriend..."

"You're sure about this?" Jackson couldn't believe his ears.

"Yeah...well I don't know. I'm confused right now..." April sighed. How did Jackson thought about her now? She was such a dork...

"I should have shut up, I'm sorry..." April apologized.

Jackson raised up his torso, so April had to take away her head and hand.

"April, I can handle it, that you talk with me about your boyfriend. That's what a best friend is supposed to do! Now, can you please stop apologize? Because if you go on, I look for another on-call room!" Jackson said furious. He was sick of April's apologizing.

"Do, maybe Stephanie's here!" April surprisingly argued back and stood up, so Jackson could go.

"Are you serious?" Jackson asked in total disbelief. April hadn't said that to him, that couldn't be. He got up fast, grabbed his shirt and pulled it over. He had almost reached the door when he turned around and said hurt:

"Yeah, maybe I should."

What April didn't knew, Jackson had ended the sexual relationship with Stephanie. He wasn't going back to her.

* * *

**Yeah, I know I was a little cruel, but I promise it wouldn't stay that for so long :)  
I would really appreciate your reviews :)**


	7. I'm in love with her

**Hi,  
so here's the 7th chapter :)  
Just btw, I really want Japril to kiss and make up, but as mean as I am, you have to wait ;-) *evil laugh*  
Again, thanks for the reviews :*)**

Same disclaimer as usual.

* * *

**Chapter VII: I'm in love with her**

_"Not really sure how to feel about it  
Something in the way you move  
Makes me feel like I can't live without you  
It takes me all the way  
I want you to stay"_

April's mouth opened and her eyes were widened in shock. And before she could say something he was out of the door. And she didn't want to run after him, she felt too ashamed to do this. Damn it, she was such an idiot! How could she hurt her best friend so hard, the guy she loved more than any other man before? April laid down at the bed and started to cry into the pillow. That the pillow smelled like Jackson made it all so much harder. She was such a fool!

* * *

In the meantime Jackson was running down the hallway to the next best place he could find. In this case it was the men's restroom. He went to the sink, opened the tap and splashed water in his face. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. April never had snubbed him like that before. Never. What the hell had happened to her?

And now he wished Sloan was here, here to give him an advice. How to deal with that mess. But he was dead and not there where Jackson needed him. And for the first time in a long, long time he cried. He sat down against a wall and put his head and arms on his knees. It felt like the world was collapsing right over his head. He missed his other half of the Plastics Posse like never before and he had never felt so hurt because of April. That he had fucked up the surgery, didn't made him feel better.

"Jackson?" He heard a similar voice from the door. It was Karev's. From all the doctors here in the hospital, his former roommate was the most unsolicited.

"You're okay?"

Luckily his eyes weren't wet or red anymore so Jackson grumbled and sighed:

"Does a happy person looks like this? And what the fuck are you doin' here? I thought we swapped?"

Alex closed the door and sat down in front of Jackson. He had never saw his friend like this.

"I got paged. Okay, what's the matter?"

Jackson raised his head and stared at him in disbelief. He wasn't prepared that Alex was going to talk to him about his problems. But finally he opened up and admitted:

"Okay...I'm...I'm in love with April."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, dude," Alex answered.

Jackson looked at his friend with a very puzzled expression on his face and asked in disbelief:

"You're...you're what?"

"No no! I'm not in love with April... I freakin' love Jo...," Alex answered laughing but then admitted serious his feelings for his friend.

Jackson chuckled and inquired:

"You scared me! Isn't she dating this Myers-guy?"

"Yeah, she is. He's an idiot, I mean they barely know each other and they are goin' to move in together."

"Oh, I'm sorry for you, man. Have you told her about this?"

"Yes, but now she's mad at me. But anyway, why are you here, dude?"Alex asked.

"I guess you heard about the two guys we got, they were shot, and I had the most wounded guy, and he didn't made it in the OR. After my surgery I went to an on-call room to sleep and the next thing I remember was that...that I woke up in her arms and that se said to me that everything was going to be fine. Yeah...I had a nightmare," Jackson ended embarrassed.

"You still have nightmares?" The peds fellow inquired amused.

"No, just sometimes. But I had tonight one, and since a while it's always the same, I mean it's always April who gets shot. And...it ended that she was laying on my chest."

"You're kidding?! Way to go, Avery! But how the fuck did that happen?" Alex congratulated laughing.

"I have seriously no idea. I mean we were talking about the surgery on her boyfriend and the we both should sleep and then she suddenly asked whether she could sleep with -"

"Wait a second? She asked you to sleep with her? Now she's a cheater?"

"No! I understood her first wrong too, but April meant by my side. I have really no fucking idea why she wanted this, seriously."

And then Jackson told Alex what happened afterwards and he asked:

"Are you still sleeping with Edwards?"

"No, I don't, I broke it off. And I did this because of April," Jackson admitted and shrugged his face.

"Oh man, you're totally in love with this girl, aren't you?" Alex said and looked at his friend.

"Seems so...You think I'm pathetic, don't you?" Jackson exhaled and rested his hands on his palms.

"A little, but I'm maybe as pathetic as you are. When do you want to tell her?"

"To be honest, I have no -" Jackson interrupted because a pager went on. They checked both and found out it was Alex's.

"I'm sorry, dude. I gotta go...," Alex said excusing and ran out of the restroom.

Jackson stood up and looked on more time in the mirror before he left. He wanted to talk with her, he just didn't wanted to fight with her anymore.

* * *

April still cried in the pillow, she couldn't believe what she just had done. She was totally and irrevocable in love with Jackson and she had freaking hurt him. The only person she wanted to talk to was Reed. So April clasped her hands and started to whisper:

"Hey Reed, I know it's been a while since I talked to you, and I'm really sorry for that. But I need your help... I hurt the men I love, with saying he should screw somebody else. I'm such a dumbass! I guess he's not going to talk to me, I mean I couldn't blame him for this."

While April was so concentrated with whispering to ghost Reed, she didn't realized that the door opened and Jackson entered. He heard that April was crying and understood a little of what she said:

"I-I-I go tomorrow morning to Matthew and break up with him. I don't want to hurt him, b-b-because I'm in love w-w-w-with another guy. I love Jackson..."

Jackson's mouth dropped open, he couldn't believe what he just heard. She...she loved him? But why the heck did she told him to sleep with Stephanie? He slowly moved to the door, opened it quietly and left the room. It was quarter to three, he would operate on Matthew, April's-soon-to- be-ex-boyfriend, in about five hours and he was totally groggy. First he was kinda dumped by the girl he loved and second the girl admitted she loved him. God, life was fucking messy. But what if April wasn't sure about what she had said? What if she was confused and just ranted? What if she wasn't going to break up with Matthew?_What if...?_

* * *

**After the scene in which Alex Christina tells how he feels about Jo, I thought the same could happen between Jackson and Alex :)  
Spoiler: A doctor will return to GSMH, guess who ;-)**


	8. Summer

**Hey,  
in this chapter I will introduce a new character and she will stick around for a little while, I hope you like her :)  
As usual I thank you for your reviews!**

**Same disclaimer as usual.**

* * *

**Chapter VIII: Summer**

_"I remember years ago  
Someone told me I should take  
Caution when it comes to love  
I did"_

After April's "talk" to Reed she thought about what she should say to Matt in the morning. Should she say the truth? That first, she wasn't a virgin anymore and second that she was in love with the guy who took it? Sure, she was totally for the truth, but what if he'd ask her who it was? And what if Matt would be mean to Jackson? She should tell him only the virgin thing to protect Jackson. And before his surgery she would talk to him and admit it. Now that it was more or less clear to her she set the alarm clock on her watch for 7 o'clock so she could talk to Matt first. And shortly afterwards she felt in a dreamless sleep.

* * *

_4 hours later..._

April got up immediately when she heard her alarm clock. So today's the day. She looked at the mirror at the wall and fixed her hair a little, took her tunic and went to Matt's room. Before she entered it she took one deep breath and thought about the words she matched for her break-up. When she entered the room, she was surprised that she found Jackson at his bed.

"What are you doin' here?" April asked carefully.

"Plans changed. I can't do the surgery, I got a huge pack of paperwork. I'm really sorry, Dr. Schmidt will do the surgery instead."

"Can I talk to you for a second?" April asked Jackson angry. Did he passed the surgery because he was mad at her?

Jackson nodded and said to Matt:

"I'm really sorry, for everything..." He meant that he saved his life, that April would break up with him in a few minutes and he was the reason.

"You don't really have paperwork, don't you? You're still pissed at me, but you promised me to do it!" April inquired angry.

"Oho, I have a lot of paperwork, April. And yeah, I'm still pissed at you, and I told you why. Dr. Schmidt is as good as I am, he's the head of plastics, I'm just an attending."

"Yeah, but I trust you."

Jackson was a little sad, April still cared enough about Matt to remember him to the talk they had a few days ago in his office.

"Suddenly? Can't you just decide whether I am the guy you trust or the guy you reject immediately when there's something going on between the two of us?!" Jackson retorted an folded his arms.

April looked at him agonized and avoided eye contact. She acted like a jerk towards the guy she loved.

"You should go and do this crappy paperwork. When you need my help, page me, okay?"

"Okay...? Thanks?" Jackson answered confused and left for his office. He had lied to April, he had given the surgery to Dr. Schmidt because he didn't want the stress with Matt. The paramedic was still pissed at him, for saving his life and he didn't want to increase this anger.

Back in Matt's room, April sat on the side of his bed and said slowly:

"Matt? We need to talk. I wasn't honest with you."

"Why are telling me this now?"

"Because when you're later on drugs, I don't want to. The thing is...I...I can't do this anymore. And I'm not a virgin anymore. I lied to you and I'm sorry about this...but..."

"Seriously?" Matt asked disappointed.

"Yes, and second... What you said to me yesterday was inexcusable. You know that I'm insecure, I got fired twice. Every time someone says something about my medical skills, I get insecure about what I do. Whether I'm good enough. And I think that a boyfriend should stop you from being insecure. But you just increased this."

"But yesterday I was really on drugs!" Matt defended.

"I'm sorry Matt, but I can't do this anymore. Please respect this." April whispered, she felt like she said to a puppy which was cute as hell, he was ugly. She was never the type who was good in break-ups.

"And now you're lying again. You're in love with Avery, right?" Matt murmured with a sad smile.

"What?" April said blushing.

"It's obvious, April." Matt laughed sad.

April stuttered and left the room. And now she felt terrible again, gosh, she was just such a man hurter...

* * *

_2 hours later..._

Jackson sat in his office and really did some of the paperwork, when suddenly his pager went on. They needed him down at the ER.

When he arrived at the ER, Stephanie waved at him to meet her and Heather Brooks. In the bed laid a girl with chocolate-brown hair and bluish-grey eyes.

"Summer Jones, 17, nasal bone fracture"

Her nose still bled and next to her stand a tall guy, which looked like a football player.

"Hi, Summer, I'm Dr. Avery. I'm a plastic surgeon here" Jackson said smiling and shook the hand of Summer and the guy next to her squeezed really stiff.

"How did you broke your nose?" Jackson asked while he looked at the chart.

"We played volleyball during the sport class, but she was to clumsy to play it good enough. The ball, she wanted to play over the net, crashed with her nose, and that's how she broke her nose."

Jackson raised his head and looked at the guy in disbelief. It's not possible to break a nose, when a ball falls on your nose. Summer bit on her bottom lip and avoided the glimpse of Jackson. Something was wrong here.

"And you are?" Jackson inquired sternly looking at the guy.

"Her boyfriend, Sebastian, but does this matter?"

"Sebastian..." Summer whispered and looked begging at him but starred back at her blanket when he looked angry at her.

"Dr. Edwards, would you please bring Summer up to a room, there we can talk. And Dr. Brooks, would you please book a OR? Thank you."

Jackson had a bad feeling about this Sebastian guy...

* * *

When Jackson arrived at the room of Summer's, she was alone.

"Hey Summer, how are you?"

And for the first time, she smiled.

"Thank you, Dr. Avery, I feel better."

"That's good. I guess you see it too, your nose is broken and you'll need surgery for that."

"Okay good."

"When will your parents be here? 'Cause when they're here, I can show you how I'll do the surgery, okay?"

"Oh, you don't need to explain them a rhinoplasty. They're surgeons at the Seattle Presbyterian Hospital." Summer explained smiling.

"Really? Are they plastic surgeons?"

"Nope, my mom's a general surgeon and my dad's a cardio one. I'm happy that the paramedics brought me here, my mom would freak out when she'd see me in the ER." The girl replied with a laugh.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. My parents are surgeons too and my grandfather-"

"Harper Avery, from the Harper Avery-Award?" Summer inquired smirking.

"Yes, how did you know that?" Jackson laughed.

"When you first mentioned your parents and then you grandfather. And the last name Avery isn't that frequent."

Jackson heard a female voice from the door, the mother of Summer had arrived.

"Summer Markelle Jones! Why are you here?" Her mother teased. Mrs. Jones was about 40 and looked like her daughter, except for the eyes, her eyes were brown.

"I-I had an accident at school." Summer stuttered.

"But why aren't you at my hospital?" Mrs. Jones inquired sternly.

"It's not my fault that the paramedics brought me here, mom." Summer retorted.

"And who are you? An intern?" Mrs. Jones asked sternly towards Jackson.

"Mom! This is Dr. Jackson Avery, he's a plastic attending. And he will do the surgery and nobody else."

Jackson's mouth dropped open and didn't hesitated by saying:

"Yup, I will do the surgery, Mrs. Jones. You don't have to worry, I learned from Dr. Sloan, he was the best plastic surgeon here."

Mrs. Jones eyes widened in shock, her mouth dropped open and she stuttered:

"So...so you learned from...Mark Sloan?"

"Yeah. Is everything okay with you, Mrs. Jones?"

"I-I-I just need a minute..." Summer's mother said an stormed out of the room.

"W-what was that?" Summer asked confused, why did her mom ran off like that?

"Do you know whether your mom knows Mark Sloan?"

Summer shrugged, she had no idea who this Sloan guy was.

"Anyway...I have a question, how the hell could you broke your nose, while you wanted to play volleyball? I played a bit volleyball in High School, so I know a little about it."

"You played volleyball? I thought you were more the football or basketball guy and the one who was the skipper?" Summer avoided his question.

Jackson said down at the chair next to Summer's bed and answered:

"Yeah, you're right, I played football, but I wasn't the skipper."  
Jackson noticed that Summer avoided the question on how she had broken her nose, so he wasn't going to ask her again.

"I guess, I have to excuse me for my mom that she offend you like that...she's...special." Summer sighed.

"Oh, no problem. My mom's like your mom. She was always a little...harsh."

"You said your parents were both surgeons like mine, did they pushed you into the direction to be a surgeon?"

"Nope, they definitely didn't. Because I'm the pretty boy - shit, that sounds arrogant, sorry -"

"Come on, they weren't wrong!" Summer laughed playfully.

Jackson smirked at her and laughed:

"Thank you. But anyway, they thought I go to New York and become a model. They never pushed me so I had to push myself, and then I aced my MCAT..."

"Awesome!...Ehm, Dr. Avery, I mean, I really enjoy talking with you, really, but don't you have other patients?" Summer asked, she really liked the presence of the doctor, but she was afraid that she barred him from checking on patients.

"No, that's okay. I did all the crappy paperwork before I met you, so I can sit here and bear you some company, because I don't think your mom's gonna join us again, but if you want me to go, I go."

"No no no, please don't go. I'm sorry, what I said before sounded mean. Please don't go!" Summer begged desperate.

Jackson smiled and said:

"I stay, don't worry. Now tell me something about you."

"Ehm, all right. I'm seventeen, I go to the South Lake High School and I'm a junior. I play for the volleyball varsity team and yeah...What do you want to know?" Summer asked laughing.

"What is your boyfriend like?" Jackson asked without hesitating. He still had a bad feeling about this Sebastian guy.

"He...he's the skipper of the football team , Sebastian's from a healthy family...and yeah." Suddenly she was pretty quiet and shy. Something was really wrong with the guy.

Jackson quickly changed the topic, he didn't want to bother Summer.

"I'm sorry for asking, it's none of my buisness. Do your parents push you to become a surgeon?"

"No, they don't either. But if they'd do, they wouldn't have to. I wanna be a surgeon. We've got at my school school paramedics. And I'm one of them. But that's not the reason why I wanna be a surgeon. When my parents talked about their surgeries, I always sat there and listened fascinated. I wanna become a surgeon because I wanna save life, help people."

"That was also my reason..." Jackson said smiling, Summer was pretty similar to him.

"Which kind of a surgeon do you want to become?"

"Pediatrician. I love little kids and I want to give them a life. Was plastics your first choice?"

"It wasn't -"

Jackson couldn't get any further because Sebastian, the mean boyfriend, rushed in and said loud:

"Let my girlfriend alone!"

"Calm down, dude. I'm not going to do anything with your girlfriend." Jackson got up and answered sternly.

"Good, for you -" Sebastian started angry but was surprisingly interrupted by Summer.

"Who the hell do you think you are, Sebastian?"

Sebastian looked furious at Summer and he suddenly swooped down on her, but luckily Jackson was fast enough to hold him and tackle him down to the ground, one knee in his back, and the guys hands on it.

Summer had started to cry in the meantime but she stood up and said:

"I-I-I get you some security stuff..."

Sebastian still tried to get out of Jackson's grip and after a few seconds he got one hand out, turned around and punched Jackson above his left eye. Jackson could hold Sebastian's hands fast and hold him back on the floor. One minute later the security staff came and took Sebastian away. He resisted but didn't said anything. Summer came towards Jackson and he still saw the tears on her cheeks. He sighed and hugged her.

"I-I-I'm so so sorry with your wound..." Summer whispered against his chest.

"It's okay, but maybe I have to treat it..." Jackson moved a little away and looked at Summer, she still cried, but he had a idea to cheer her up.

"Soo...you wanna be a surgeon, right? I could be your first patient." He laughed.

"Seriously? But I don't really know what to do..." She answered with raised eyebrows.

"Okay. Look at the wound, do you think it has to be stitched?" Jackson asked smiling.

Summer smiled back at him and said:

"I don't think it so deep that we need to stitch it. I think we just need some narrow patches. Maybe we should x-ray his head, maybe his bone is broken..."

"No, I guess his bones are okay, but the narrow patches sound great. I'll get you some and you will stay at your bed, all right?"

Summer smirked and went back to her bed.

When Jackson left her room he discovered April at the nurse station, her shoulders hung down and she had a sad face on...But why should Jackson felt guilty? He had just done his job!

* * *

**So what do you think about Summer? :)  
I would love to read your opinion :)**


	9. The truth about Summer

**I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to upload this chapter three days ago, but here it is :)**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter IX: The truth about Summer**

_"...There might have been a time when  
I would give myself away  
Oh, once upon a time I didn't give a damn  
But now, here we are  
So whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me..."_

The whole Board of Directors sat in a meeting room and discussed their current staff problems, they needed OB/Gyn surgeons, so they scanned through the seven applications they got.

"Here, I've got a guy called Dick Walker. According to his police file, he's twice recorded because of sexual harassment in the last three months. He has definitely no chance," Arizona informed the others and threw the application into the garbage

Jackson had an application from a women called Isobel Rivera. She came from Chehalis and what stunned Jackson the most, that she had been an intern at the former Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital at the same time he, April, Charles, Reed, Meredith, Alex and Christina had been here. He scanned through the rest of her C.V. and stuck when he read her parental information. Her parents were Robbie and Elisabeth Stevens..._Stevens_.

It was Izzie Stevens, Alex's ex-wife!

* * *

When Jackson came into Summer's room, she sat on her bed like he told her. He went to the bed and handed her the patches.

"So, what are you planning to do?" He asked while he sat down face-to-face.

"I think I just have to stitch it and put those patches on your forehead, Dr. Avery."

"Come on, call me Jackson, after all we've been through the last hour, it's due." He chuckled and Summer smiled at him happily. He handed her the needle and thread and set down on the bed in front of her.

"Okay...You asked me what Sebastian is like. He's a jock and the skipper of the football team. He's also the most popular guy at my school and nearly every girl felt for him. But he's also a girl beater..." She looked at Jackson and started to stitch his wound.

"Wait, he broke your nose?" Jackson asked in disbelief. He had thought about the possibility but he hoped it wouldn't be true.

"Yeah...we had an argument because I said I wanna leave him because he treated me like crap and he had beaten me before. Not so hard that he broke something...And then he punched my face...," Summer admitted and one lonely tear escaped her eye.

"If I had known what kind of guy he was, I'd had chucked him out, really."

"That's cute from you, thanks!" Summer smirked and put the last patch on his forehead.

"Soo, what you say, what should I do with my pretty battle wound?"

"I, as your doctor, would keep away from tussles, seriously, I don't want to see a wound on your pretty boy face again, all right?" Summer joked and Jackson laughed, it felt good to be distracted from all this crap which was going on between him and April and the stuff with the hospital.

"I promise do be a virtuous boy, Dr. Jones." He joked and stood up when her mom entered the room. She obviously had calmed down and walked down to Jackson.

"Dr. Avery, can I talk to you for a minute?" Mrs. Jones pointed out of the door and he followed her. He folded his arms and looked at the elder Jones women.

"Before I moved to Seattle I lived at New York and did my residency there at the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons and there I met Summer's father."

Mrs. Jones started and looked at Jackson. He heard the name of the med school before, Mark had mentioned that he visited it.

"I was 23 when I met him and in the same year I got pregnant with Summer. Her father was at the third year and I fell for him immediately, he was just flawless in my eyes."

Jackson furled his eyebrows and pursed his lips, he had no idea why the mother of Summer told him how she met her husband.

"You said your teacher was Mark Sloan?"

"Yup, he was indeed," Jackson replied confused.

"Did he ever mentioned going to the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons?"

Jackson stuck and looked at Mrs. Jones in disbelief. No, that couldn't be...But now he realized who Summer's eyes looked similar too...

"So...you wanna tell me that Mark Sloan, the former head of plastics at this hospital, is the father of Summer?"

Jackson looked at Summer, she was sitting in her bed and stared at the two surgeons. Now he saw her in a total different way. A part from Mark Sloan was sitting there. Oh. God.

"Yes, he's the biological father. But she doesn't know this. And I would appreciate it, when it's going to be like this."

"Mark Sloan was one of the kindest, the most caring and awesome persons I know. You wanna hide that from her? You can't do that!"

"She's _my _daughter, I think I know what's best for her." Mrs. Jones answered sternly.

Jackson threw his hands up in frustration and asked:

"Does her father knows that she's not his child?"

"Yes, he knows this and is okay with it."

"You have to tell her, Mrs. Jones. Summer needs to know the truth. If you don't do, I do." Jackson threaded.

"You won't do that, Avery."

Jackson exhaled and thought about how he could make Mrs. Jones admitting to Summer who her real father was. Finally he had an idea and said quietly:

"Why don't you want Summer to know who her real father is? You can't tell me you don't want her to know because Mark Sloan was a jerk. Summer's second name is Markelle, in her name is a Mark. You chose this name because you want Mark in her. And every time you look in her eyes you see him. You can't deny it. Mrs. Jones, you see in your daughter her father."

Mrs. Jones gasped, her eyes filled with tears and she admitted:

"Mark and I had a sexual relationship. For him it was sexual, for me it was more. And then I told him about me being pregnant. First he said, we could to this, but after a while he left me because he admitted he couldn't. I begged him to stay, but for him was his career more important. And when I looked the first time at Summer's eyes I saw his eyes, which I felt for. Furthermore it's not just the name Markelle. It was in summer when I first realized that I was in love with him. And yeah, of course Markelle. My daughter was always my Mark substitute, he was my true love."

"Mom?" They heard Summer's horrified voice from behind, she had listened to her mother's confession. Jackson turned around and saw tears running down her cheeks and then she ran away.

"I take care of this." Jackson said and followed her through the floor until he caught her, took her hand and directed her to the next seat. He sat beside and looked at her.

"I-I-is my...real father...an asshole?"

Jackson chuckled and replied:

"Mark was a few years ago an asshole. But this hospital changed him, according to these guys which were here before me."

"Did he knocked up other women like my mom and left them afterwards?" Summer asked sobbing.

"I just know about one case where left, but he changed when he met Lexie Grey. They had an on-off relationship and when they were off he started dating Julia Canner, she's a ophthalmologic surgeon at your mom's hospital, maybe she mentioned her...?"

"Yeah, they were best friends but then my mom never mentioned her again. But now I know why...What happened to Mark and Lexie?" Summer inquired sniffling but interested.

"In may this year Mark, Lexie and a few other surgeons from this hospital had a plane crash... Lexie passed away because she was under a part of the plane...and in this time he confessed his feelings for her... And a few days after this he died, too..."

"So, my father's dead? And my mom never gave me the chance to met him..." She asked hysterical.

"Yeah,...I'm so, so sorry that you had to find it out that way..."

"I-I-It's okay... I mean, it's not your fault..." Summer yawned and smiled sad at him.

"Should I tell you what I know about your Mark? I mean, just if you want!" Jackson asked.

"Yeah, I'd love to." She answered and laid back a little in the seat.

Jackson looked ahead and started to give Summer some information about her dad:

"Okay, Mark was born 1968 in New York, he hasn't got any siblings and his parents weren't really interested in him, they kept emotionally distance. They went out nearly every night and so he had to care for himself. I don't know whether you know Dr. Shepherd, but he and Mark were best buddies and -"

Then he felt a head on his shoulder and heard a quiet snoring and realized that Summer felt asleep. He chuckled softly and thought about what he should do next. Jackson would take her back to her bed, it had been a rough day for her, so it should be the best. He carefully lifted Summer up in his arms, her head slipped into the crook of his neck, but she didn't woke up. While they went the way back to her room station April was still checking some charts at the nurse station and discovered Jackson with the girl in his arms. She exhaled and left the station quickly, why did Jackson this to her? Jackson only shook his head and entered Summer's room. Why acted April like that? Where the hell was the April he had fell for a few months ago? While Jackson thought about it he laid Summer carefully back in her bed and pulled the blanket under her legs away to spread it over her body. He sat down at the chair next to her bed, leaned against the headrest and closed his eyes. The only thing he could think about at the moment was why April was so pissed at him. He had to talk to her, maybe with this he wouldn't be so distracted. They needed to talk, it couldn't go on like this...

* * *

_Some time ago at the OB/Gyn meeting..._

"Ehm, Grey, Yang, I guess you wanna take a look at this application...," Jackson said and slid it over to the twisted sisters. Christina was the faster one and grabbed it. After a few seconds her mouth dropped open.

"Mer, you really wanna take a look at this..."

Jackson leaned back and looked grinning at his co-workers.

"Oh ma' God. Izzie is applying for a job here?" Meredith inquired surprised and took the testimonials out of the folder. After she scanned them she wanted to announce something but was interrupted by Christina :

"She finished her intern-years and residency at UCLA!"

"Really? And here, she worked the last year at the St. Ambrose Hospital and at the Oceanside Wellness Center under Addison's wing. She writes in her testimonial, that Izzie, here I quote: is a committed, caring surgeon and has the skills to become a great and world-famous OB/Gyn surgeon," Meredith read out loud and pointed her finger at the lines.

Derek, Callie and Arizona stood up to take a look at it too but Jackson just rested as his place and looked at his coworkers.

Arizona and Callie both said, that their applicants hadn't got such a good feedback as Izzie and Derek agreed with his applicant.

"What are your candidates like?" Jackson inquired and looked at Meredith and Christina.

"Maybe mine could be competition for Izzie, but it'd be better if we take her," Meredith answered and waited for the Christina's response.

"Oh please, not quite as good as Dr. Model," Christina chuckled.

The rest of the board members nodded so it was official:

Izzie Stevens would return.

* * *

April walked slowly in the attendings lounge and found Callie there.

"Hey Kepner!" Callie greeted her smiling.

"Oh, hey Callie! How are you?" The trauma surgeon required back.

"I'm fine, thank you. How you're doing?"

"I'm...I'm...," April choked and her eyes filled with tears.

Why the hell did she started to cry?

"Hey, April, hey!" Callie said quiet, came to April and hugged her.

"Tell me, what's wrong?" Callie asked, guided her to the couch and looked worried at her.

"It's...i-i-it's Jackson..."

"What has he done to you? I can kick his ass if you want."

"No, no, no, it was my fault," April answered slightly laughing.

Callie looked surprised at April and asked what happened between the two of them. After April told her about what happened in the night before, Callie answered:

"Did you told Jackson how you feel about him?"

"No, I haven't yet. I mean, I screwed it."

"Then give him a little space for one or two weeks and then you should try talking to him again. I also could help you a little...," Callie proposed smirking.

"You think this will work? I mean, I hurt him really when I brought that up with Stephanie. But I don't know why he was so hurt..."

"Do you know whether there were tensions between the two? Maybe this is a reason why he reacted like this? I have some real good connections from which I could get some information...just if you want!" Callie suggested and looked at the opening door.

Jackson appeared in the doorframe and his eyes went to Callie and April. She turned around, stood up and lied fast.

"Okay, so I order that the radiologist will take x-rays from the patient in 2304, right?"

"Exactly, I will take a look at them in a few minutes," Callie reacted and smiled at the two fellows.

"April, can I talk to you for a second?" Jackson asked quiet and grabbed softly April's arm.

"I'm sorry, Jackson, but I gotta go," April lied excusing and headed away fast.

Jackson exhaled tired and fell down on the couch.

"You wanna talk about it?" Callie offered and looked at her coworker.

"I don't want to stop you from checking on your patient, but thanks Torres, I appreciate it. But I guess I have to tell you somethin'..."

"No, not at all. But you know what, I have to tell you somethin' too. I will speak with you first and after that, you can tell me whatever you want, okay? I have the time, so answer me one question. Are you still seeing this intern Edwards?"

Jackson looked confused and asked:

"Are you asking this for April?"

"Okay, I ask you something now, Avery, and you will listen and answer, all right?" Callie said and pointed her finger at him.

Jackson sat up sighing and folded his arms.

"Are you seeing Edwards?"

Jackson scratched his head and answered honest:

"No, I broke it off."

"Really?" Callie asked to make sure he didn't lied to her.

"Yeah, I'm telling you the truth, I mean why should I lie to you?"

"Good, now that this is settled, why did you broke it off?"

Jackson closed his eyes leaned back against the couch and whispered:

"Because of April..."

"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Callie inquired smiling.

"Yes, I am," The plastics fellow replied exhausted.

Callie thought about how she could tell Jackson that April felt the same way about him.

"And she loves me, I know Callie," Jackson added to Callie's surprise.

"But she didn't told ya, didn't she?"

"No, tonight I heard her talking to Reed... or Reed's ghost, apparently. She said to her she wanted to break up with Matthew, which she did this morning, I guess..."

"She did indeed, so go and tell her, Jackson!" Callie answered and looked demanding at him. Now she knew why Jackson had reacted so hurt, he had broken up with Stephanie to be with April but April had rejected and told him to go back to Stephanie.

"Yeah sure, Callie. Six hours after she broke up with her boyfriend I go and tell April that I love her."

Callie scrutinized Jackson and asked him:

"You're scared, aren't you?"

Jackson avoided her gaze and scratched his head. She was right, he was scared. His deep feelings for April scared him, he had never loved a women as much as he loved her.

Jackson watch peeped, it was three o' clock, in fifteen minutes he had a boring meeting.

"Okay, Torres, I have in fifteen minutes a meeting, if you want to see what I'm planning to show you, we should hurry up. It would be the best if you get Sofia out of the daycare and take her to room 3704, I'll wait there for you two, okay?"

"All right, I meet you in five up at room 3704," Callie answered first confused and walked then to the daycare.

Jackson got up and walked to the room 3704. Summer's room.

* * *

**Now you know which doctor is going to return :)  
The next chapter will feature Summer again and it will clear some things up for April. It will also contain some cute Japril stuff, which is why you're reading this fanfic ;-)  
Anyway, let me please know what you think! Furthermore, it would be really great if you'd suggest what I could do better in my wrting skills/story etc.**


	10. Like strangers

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter X: Like strangers**

_"...you and me, we used to be together,  
everyday together, always  
I really feel like I'm losing my best friend,  
I can't believe this could be the end... "_

Summer sat in her bed and read the newest edition of the Seventeen magazine, when Jackson entered the room and said smiling:

"Hey, did Dr. Brooks told ya' that you'll have the surgery tomorrow morning? We have at the moment a very full OR board, so I'm sorry. They gave you pain-reliever, didn't they?"

"Okay, I'm fine, thanks. I talked to my mom, and we had an argument. Yeah, she left the hospital and I don't know when she's coming back...," Summer told him and laid her magazine on the white nightstand.

"What did you said to her that she left the hospital?" Jackson asked curious and made his way around the bed.

"After you brought me back to my room and left, my mom stepped in and waited until I woke up. She cried and whispered, that she was so sorry but I was furious and told her that she's a bad mother, so she left. I really regret what I said..."

"Again, I'm really sorry that you had to find it out this way..."

Callie entered the room with Sofia in her arms and asked:

"So, here we are. Why do you need me for a broken nose? And why had I to take Sofia with me, Avery?"

Jackson stood between Callie and the bed of Summer before he finally said:

"Callie, this is Summer, the half-sister of your daughter."

Summer's mouth dropped open and looked shocked at Jackson and then to Sofia. Callie had the same expression on her face and looked at Summer than at Sofia and again at Summer.

"Funny, that you learn in five hours that your thought-to-be father isn't really your biological father and that your mother never told ya' about him. Additionally you find out that you have a half-sister. I'd say this is the craziest day I've ever had in my life!"

Callie's eyes stopped at the face of her daughter's half-sister and saw her eyes and the nose - Mark's eyes and nose. She smiled slightly and suggested:

"Do you wanna hold her?"

Summer was surprised by the unexpected offer from the ortho-doctor, but nodded happily and thanked:

"T-t-that'd be nice, thank you."

Callie replied the smile and handed Sofia slowly in the older girl's arms.

Jackson smirked and went slowly out but was hold back by Callie, which leaned near to his ear and whispered:

"I'm expecting an exact report later on what is going on here, okay Jackson?"

The plastics fellow nodded and left for his office.

* * *

Just after Jackson had left Summer's room he put out his pager and wrote _Would you please come to my office? _and send it to April in hope that she would be there. But when he arrived at his office, April wasn't there. It didn't surprised him that much so he decided to wait, maybe she had a patient. God, they were in a hospital, of course she had patients. He waited ten, twenty, thirty minutes and worked on some hospital stuff... but still no April. Jackson exhaled hard and scrubbed his face up and down. But even after an hour she didn't arrived and he wasn't in the mood even more to talk to her. Jackson put out his cell and dialed Alex' number to write him a message.

_Do you know where April is?_

_Yeah, she's sitting here in the attendings lounge for 1/2 hour and stares the whole time at her hands. What happened?_

_Actually I sent her a page to talk with me but obviously she doesn't want. Fine with me._

_Why don't you just come here? I can check on some patients while you're talking, dude._

_Thanks man, but I really don't want to force her to talk with me - it wouldn't help._

_I'm sorry, bro._

_Not your fault, but thanks..._

_Should I talk to her? ;-)_

_Don't!_

_Don't worry, I'm not that kind of guy!_

_Of course not, Alex, of course not._

A few minutes later Jackson got another text from Alex:

_Kepner asked me where you are, I said I don't know. I guess she comes upstairs to you. You have maybe three minutes to run away._

Jackson decided to stay here, but even after twenty minutes April didn't appeared in his doorframe. Instead he received a message from his pager - it was from her. _We need you in OR2_ Jackson stood up fast and headed to the OR wing. When he turned the corner, he suddenly crashed into a person - April.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, are you okay?" Jackson asked with his eyes wide open.

"Yeah, I'm okay. You have to follow me, it's about Summer Jones -"

"What? What the fuck happened? Just about one hour ago she was fine?" Jackson inquired scared and began to walk faster.

"Her nasal bone went right through her nasal septum and it seems like she had a double fracture so one part of her bone got in her trachea," April answered while she tried to keep pace with him.

He looked in disbelief down to her and said:

"Is that even possible?"

"Obviously, yes." April smirked at him. But the whole time just one thought was important to her. Why did he cared so much about her? He just hardly knew her!

"Oh God, it's my fault, I should have done some x-rays to see that her nose is so damaged. God, I'm an idiot."

"You're not, Jackson. I mean she didn't died like my patient in our first year here because I just forgot a simple step. And you gonna fix this, okay?"

Jackson looked at her and smirked weak.

"But I can't fuck this up...she's Mark's daughter." Jackson said slowly and looked at April, waiting for her response.

"Say what?" April asked stunned, now it made sense why Jackson cared so much about the girl.

"Yeah, my first reaction, too. But how do you even know about Summer?"

"I was at the nurse station in front of her room because I looked for you, and then I heard Callie yelling for help. I first took Sofia, handed her to Brooks and went right to you."

Jackson was a little confused why April looked for him at Summer's room when he actually asked her to come to his office, but he didn't cared about that right now.

When they entered the OR, he heard Summer sobbing, so he went to her and looked worried at her.

"Hey, don't worry, I'll fix it, okay?" Jackson said smiling and squeezed her hand. She responded with a slight smile. He walked to the scrub room and washed his hands, while April, Callie and the ENT surgeon Dr. Phillips stood next to him.

The Ortho- and ENT-surgeons left the room so only Jackson and April remained. An awkward silence filled the room until the trauma surgeon finally said:

"Jackson, I'm so sorry for tonight, that I rejected you like this, it wasn't fair from me, I know. And I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am...," April admitted quiet and looked down at her hands while biting her bottom lip.

Jackson turned his head, looked at her and thought about what he should say. Of course, he was still pissed at her, but if she'd know why he was, it maybe had made the things less complicated. But furthermore, he wasn't ready to tell her, why he ended things with Stephanie, it just wasn't the right time and place.

"You know, you don't have to forgive me yet, I know what I've done was really bad...,"April answered instead and left the scrub room quickly before Jackson was able to respond.

* * *

The surgery went good, Jackson could fix Summer's nose, and Dr. Phillips was able to heal the airways. The conversation during the surgery was a little weird, they didn't really talked about what was going on in their life. When they talked, then just about surgical decisions and that was it. It was terrible. They found each other in the scrub room again and washed quietly their hands.

"Does her mom knows that she had the surgery already?" April asked to break the awkward silence.

"I don't know, but she had already left the hospital when I brought Callie and Sofia to her. I think I wait with her until her mom shows up."

"Okay...," April nodded and dried her hands. She left the room without any "bye" or "Have a nice day!", she just walked away. He felt awful for not giving her an answer, because it was his fault, that they still didn't talked about each others. They treated each others like strangers and how for god's sake should they become a couple when they were so close as Washington and Florida?

April thought exactly the same when she walked out of the scrub room, but she wouldn't be courageous enough to admit her true feelings for Jackson.

* * *

_30 minutes later..._

Jackson sat in the chair next to the bed of Summer in the PACU and waited for her waking up. A few minutes later, he heard a sigh, she was almost awake.

"Hey you," Jackson smiled and moved with his chair a little closer.

"Hi...what happened?" Summer asked weak and tried to squint at her nose, finding a white bandage.

"A part of your nasal bone broke through your nasal septum which then made his way down your trachea. We were able to remove the bone part and put it back to its original place," Jackson explained to her.

"Ouch...so, what happens next?"

"You have to stay here for two days because we need to take a look at your airways, because there were little cracks, but you'll be fine

"Thank you. Do you know whether my mom returned?

"I guess no, I'm sorry.

Summer woke more and more up, then she finally asked the question which occupied her the whole time:

"Do you know what they did with Sebastian?"

Jackson shook his head and answered honestly:

"No, I don't know. I guess they brought him to the police department."

"I'm afraid that he comes back and hurt me again," She whispered honestly with watery eyes.

Jackson took her hand and said:

"Shh, I think the police officers take care of him...You know what, give me you cell phone, I give you my number. You call me when you're in trouble, okay?"

Now the tears ran down her cheeks and she blubbered out:

"T-t-thank you, Jackson. But why are you doin' this?"

"I kinda owe it your dad. "

This was the honest reason why he did what he did. Even when the other half of the plastic posse was dead, Jackson helped his former mentor. Sure, Summer was nice and everything, but Jackson thought it would be the minimum after all Mark had done for him.

Summer smiled about the seemingly close friendship between Jackson and her father, so she handed her cell to Jackson able to enter his number.

"Do you have time to tell me more about my dad? I mean, just if you have the time," She asked not crying anymore.

"Yeah, I could visit you after my shift, that would be in three hours, is that okay?" Jackson answered and gave Summer her phone back.

"That would be great, thank you!" Summer smiled and laid back on the mattress.

Jackson stood up and said goodbye before he left for dinner.

* * *

April sat in the cafeteria with Christina and Meredith talking about her last surgery.

"Does Summer knows that she's kind of an aunt? I mean if you think of Sloan Riley's little baby? And anyway, does she knows that she has two half-sisters?" Meredith asked while she ate her veggie burger.

"Nah, come on." Christina chuckled and looked down at her salad.

Just when April wanted to say something Alex and Jackson showed up and took a seat next to them.

"You already heard about Sloan's second daughter? I have this feeling that our hospital is going to be the shelter for all of his children. But you have to admit that every daughter of him we met was hot."

April raised on eyebrow and said:

"You fall every time for blonde, brunettes or blue or brown eyes, Alex."

"You have brown eyes and I didn't fall for you, Apes," Alex laughed but he was kicked under the table by Jackson. Alex pressed his lips together because of the pain he had now in his lower leg. He gave Jackson an angry gaze but didn't respond. April who was sitting next to Alex noticed the kick from Jackson and had to smile inside brightly.

"You heard that Obama comes to Seattle tomorrow?" Meredith said to break the silence.

"Yeah, he's here to meet the governor in the Space Needle." Christina ended and finally ate her salad.

Jackson ate his meal fast so he could do the stuff he should have done a few hours ago.

"I gotta go, see you." Jackson said and left the table.

A few minutes later, April also left and Christina, Meredith and Alex remained. The twisted sister had noticed the kick from Jackson so Meredith asked curiously:

"Is there something going on between Jackson and April again?"

"No, I don't think so," Alex answered a little lying and scrubbed his lower leg.

"Oh please, who knows what they're doing now. I guess April just needed her Jackson-action back," Christina said and left the table.

* * *

After his shift ended Jackson walked down to the room of Summer and found her reading a book.

"Hey, how ya doing ?" Jackson asked smiling and sat in the familiar chair next to her bed.

"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?" Summer inquired politely and closed her book.

"Yeah, I'm great, thanks. So, you're ready?"

"I'm indeed!" She answered and put the book on her nightstand.

And then Jackson repeat what he said to her a few hours ago and then he told her all about Mark that he knew about him. And finally after an hour of talking he finished.

"So my dad was a good guy and not a man whore?"

"No, in the end he wasn't a man whore but he was even though a good guy, so yeah, he was good."

"My mom and dad showed up and we talked, finally we made up. I now know, that she named me Sloan Jones when I was born, but replaced it after Marks had left. Do you think it would be crazy if I retake his name?" She asked and looked interested to Jackson.

"Not at all, Summer. It would be great if you'd accept his last name, really." Jackson answered smiling.

"Thank you. Ehm...may I ask you somethin personal?" Summer asked unconfident looking down at her hands. She wasn't sure whether they were close enough to ask this question.

"Yeah, I think so?" He answered frowned.

"Do...do you have a girlfriend? I mean I'm sure you have one...Gosh, that was a terrible question, I'm sorry! It was seriously too personal, sorry..."

Jackson laughed and admitted:

"No I haven't."

"You're kidding! Isn't there even a women you think of her being your girlfriend? I-I-I'm sorry. Again." Summer started to stutter and blushed again.

"It's okay, but yeah there is."

"Then say it out loud. You promise me this okay?"

Jackson's mouth opened. She just said what her father had just said to him.

"Okay, that...that was strange. Your father said the same...," Jackson murmured and frowned again.

"Really? Cool, now you have to say it even more," Summer groaned laughing

"I should go, you're tired, but I really appreciate your advice. Now that you have my number, call me when you're in trouble, right?" Jackson said and stood up.

"Okay, I do. Good Night, Jackson!" Summer answered and smiled at him.

"Good, sleep well," Jackson smirked and left the room.

* * *

**So, what do you think? **

**I just can repeat: Please let me know whether you have any suggestions for the story and (very important since sb. draw my attention to it) my writing skills. That would be totally awesome :)**

So the next chapter will be posted at the earliest on wednesday, because I'm still not happy with it :/  
I just can say, please don't think it will turn out the way it did previously on Grey's ;-)


	11. I'll be your friend

**Chapter XI: I'll be your friend**

**I am so sorry for updating now but I had struggles with writing this chapter :/  
But anyway, I hope you like the chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: If Grey's would be mine it all had turned out ****way**** different ;-)**

* * *

_"Lean on me, when you're not strong _  
_And I'll be your friend _  
_I'll help you carry on _  
_For it won't be long _  
_Till I'm gonna need _  
_Somebody to lean on"_

Two weeks had passed since Izzie was officially hired as an OB/Gyn surgeon and today was the day when she would have her first day back at her "old" hospital. Jackson was supposed to inform her about the things that happened after her departure, so he met her in the lobby at nine o'clock. Meredith and Christina were both scrubbed in a surgery and Alex clearly didn't want to show his ex-wife the hospital. Meredith was the one who tried to break it gently to him, but she wasn't that successful, he even yelled at her for hiring Izzie back. Jackson was the one who noticed the vocal-fight and was able to break it.

_,,How could freaking hire her back? Dude, don't you remember what she did to Denny's LVAD?" Alex had yelled at Meredith who looked happy when Jackson came by._

_"Man, could yell somewhere else? I don't think the patients will trust us, when they hear, that a surgeon cut a LVAD." Jackson whispered angry at his former roommate._

_"They don't even know what that is, so don't shit your panties, Avery," Alex had retorted and had left the place._

_"You think it was a good idea hiring her back?" Jackson had asked looking worried at the general surgeon._

_"Yeah, I think so. I know that Izzie has hurt him, but he should stop being childish and finally be able to have a normal conversation with her, maybe they can work things out. I just hope Wilson will be able to calm him a little...," Meredith had answered ready to head back to the attendings lounge._

_"Yeah, I hope so, too...,"Jackson had agreed and had left the place._

* * *

Jackson was on his way to the lobby when his pager went on. A boring emergency meeting.

"God, you got to be kidding me!" Jackson moaned and ran his hands over his face. So today would have been his first day in two weeks where he was able to see the inner side of a OR again, even when he was not operating, he saw it again. And now it was ruined again because of a freaking meeting.

April came in his direction and asked worried:

"You're all right?"

"No, I have a surprise meeting and I was actually here for touring the new OB/Gyn surgeon Izzie Stevens, eh, Izzie Rivera, but now I'm not able to do this anymore. God...do you know somebody who can take the tour?"

"I'm sorry for you. I could do this, I have a break now anyway, if it's okay for you."

"Would you do that for me? God, thank you! I owe you something big!" Jackson said relieved.

"Don't you worry, it's okay."

"Thank you so much!" Jackson smiled happily and hugged her.

"No big deal, really!" April responded his smile and headed to the lobby.

April looked around in the lobby, but she couldn't find the blonde surgeon, but after she looked outside, she found her standing there. The trauma surgeon made her way outside the hospital and stopped right next to Izzie.

"Nervous coming back?" April asked quietly and looked to the taller women.

"Yes, but who's not nervous on their first day at work?" Izzie answered with a small smile.

"Yeah, you're right. Oh, ehm, I'm April Kepner by the way, Dr. Rivera," The Ohio native inquired politely. It felt a little weird calling her Dr. Rivera.

"Seriously, I think we can call us by our first name, right?" Izzie proposed and held out her hand.

April agreed smiling and shook her hand. She pointed at the hospital and asked:

"Ready to go inside?"

Izzie nodded and followed her inside. The OB/Gyn surgeon looked around and sighed at she looked at the new logo of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. She really needed to know what had happened when she was in Los Angeles.

"So, April...What happened her during my absence?"

"Okay, I don't know whether you heard about it, but we had a shooting here, months after you left. The shooter was Gary Clark, the husband of a patient who died after taking off her life support. He shot my best friend Reed Adamson and he also shot Charles Percy, I guess you remember them?"

"Yeah, I do...I'm sorry for you, you still think about them, don't you? I lost my fiancé, I know how you feel..."

"Oh, I'm sorry for you, too. May I ask how your fiancé died?" April asked quietly while biting on her lower lip. They entered the elevator and April pressed the button for the gynecological wing.

"It's okay. It's little complicated, but I'll try to summarize it: I fell in love with my patient, Denny Duquette, and he needed a new heart. Dr. Burke, a former cardio surgeon and Christina's ex-fiancé here, inserted him a LVAD. Later, he was about to get a new heart, but then another patient from the Seattle Pres got the heart. I wanted the heart for Denny so bad, that I cut his LVAD, so he got the heart, now that he was the one who needed the heart urgently. He later died because of a stroke." Izzie explained and exhaled afterwards.

"Oh! Well...that's...I'm sorry...," April rambled and her cheeks blushed.

"You must think of me as an awful person, but that's behind me now, I'm a completely new person, really!"

"We all did bad things in the past, me included. I'm not prejudiced, don't worry," April insured her new co-worker and smiled at her.

"That's good. So, I heard that Lexie and Sloan died in a plane crash?"

"Yes, one year ago, they we're involved in a plane crash along with Meredith, Christina, Derek and Arizona. Lexie was stuck under the end of the plane and crushed her pelvis and legs. Mark was with her when she died, you know, they had been on and off, and confessed his love..."

Izzie's eyes grew wide and a little glossy when she whispered:

"Oh my god, I...I...What happened to Mark?"

"He later died here after taking him off life support."

Izzie sighed and had a hard time to hold back the tears. Sure, Sloan wasn't the nicest at the beginning but he changed so well. When she had been in L.A. they had just told her that they were dead, not what was the cause of their deaths.

"Wow, even though I haven't interacted with them in years I feel terrible..."

"I know, me too. Maybe when you met Meredith and Christina you'll feel better," April proposed while she rested a supporting hand on her shoulder.

"Ehm...do you know what...Meredith, Christina and Alex think about my return?"

"Meredith and Christina are happy, as far as I'm informed, and yeah...Alex. I mean...yeah...," April started to ramble again. She couldn't tell Izzie in the face, that Alex was really pissed about her return. Sure, she couldn't blame him, but her reminder - no prejudice!

"Hey, I know what you're trying to tell me, I understand. I was an idiot for asking, sorry!" Izzie murmured as they stepped out of the elevator.

"No, it's okay. Soo, how was your life in L.A.?"

"Awesome! My residency at UCLA was amazing and to work under Addison's wing was such a great experience, I learned a lot. I met my husband, Cedric, at the hospital, he was in the same year as I was. At first we started off as best friends, but then we noticed the deeper feelings. And now we're married, pretty cool, huh?"

April's smile had turned a little sad, when Izzie had told her about her husband. They started out as best friends...and then...

"Is everything okay with ya'?" Izzie asked as she saw the changing expression on the trauma surgeons face.

"Yup, I'm fine. I'm happy for you and Cedric, really," April ensured her with a slight smile.

They now entered the NICU and Izzie's smile brightened when she looked at the little babies. She even squealed a little when she looked at the tiny humans, which made the trauma surgeon chuckle.

After the new OB/Gyn surgeon got to know her new arena they made their way down to the new pit. Just when they arrived the nurse Bella announced:

"Car crash with four casualties is four minutes out."

Since Chief Hunt wasn't here, April took the lead and yelled:

"Wilson, Brooks, Murphy, Ross and Edwards! Come with me and Dr. Rivera!"

"You like bossing around, don't ya?" Izzie inquired chuckling while following April out.

April turned her head to her with a mischievously smile and answered:

"Oh, I do indeed!"

They both grabbed a trauma gown and headed to the bay.

"So, what's new with the board of directors?"

"Oh, yeah sure! After the plane crash our hospital was about to close because it nearly broke, but the Harper Avery Foundation founded our hospital with the condition that a board of directors will be created."

"And who's in the board? I mean just in case I have to kiss somebody's ass," Izzie joked while she tied her gown.

"Well, Meredith and Christina, Derek, Arizona, Callie and Jackson are on the board. The first five and the Harper Avery Foundation bought the hospital, with the condition by the foundation that a representative of its choosing would be sitting in the board. Yeah, this brought Jackson into the position as the director of the board of directors," April explained to her.

"Woah, that sounds complicated. Why did this Jackson guy came into the board?"

"He was the one the Foundation chose, most likely because he's the grandson of Harper Avery."

"Seriously? Well, then -," Izzie started but was interrupted by the sirens of the ambulance.

The first ambulance opened and the paramedic Nicole came out and announced:

"Anabell Breslin, 32, suffers from a head trauma, went unconscious. Six months pregnant and maybe suffers from abdominal injuries. Sat in the driver's seat and her head and belly had crushed with the steering wheel because airbag didn't popped up. Blood pressure 120/70 mmHg"

"Dr. Rivera and I take her. Let's get her to the Lodox!" April determined and rushed her along with Izzie in the ER.

"Get me a portable ultrasound scanner!" Izzie called out just when they passed the nurse station.

With the help of the nurses Tyler and Manson they lifted Anabell up on the Lodox and caught the x-ray vests.

April went to the control station and after the magical thirteen seconds they got a full-body x-ray.

"We have to look at the X-Ray afterwards, I have to look after the baby. Let's take her to the trauma room 2," Izzie yelled to over sound the painful screams from the pit.

April nodded and they put her back on the stretcher to move her to the trauma room. On their way the trauma surgeon checked her eyes with the penlight. Her right eye had a minor problem with following so she ordered:

"Page Shepherd for trauma room 2!"

After Anabell finally laid on the stretcher in the trauma room Izzie took the ultrasound scanner and held it on the belly. In the trauma room it was silent and after a few minutes the neonatal surgeon announced with a sad expression:

"The baby...she's dead."

April sighed and shook her head. A moment later she eventually said with a husky voice:

"Well, let's get her to the CT-scan to look for her abdomen and afterwards to the MRI."

Just in time Derek showed up room and noticed the oppressive silence.

"What happened?"

"The baby's dead. But we wanted to bring the mom up to the MRI and CT-scan to check on her possible abdominal injuries," Izzie explained smiling when she saw Derek Shepherd again.

"Izzie, nice to see you back! But what's up with the patient?"

"Her right eye is a little bit slow, she maybe suffers from a brain hemorrhage," April answered this time and rolled Anabell a little bit in the direction of the door.

"Okay, then let's get her up there," Derek said and helped the redhead with the stretcher.

* * *

The surgery went well, if you disregard that they delivered a dead baby. Anabell had a minor brain hemorrhage which Derek was able to fix quickly, a spleen rupture which April took care of after Izzie delivered the deceased tiny human.

After the surgery April and Izzie were the only ones to remain in the scrub room when they both scrubbed out.

"Do you wanna go to Joe's after work?" Izzie asked while she dried her hands.

"Yeah, that would be great," April answered. During the surgery they had talked about god and the world, Izzie was a really nice person.

But suddenly a memory popped up in April's head. Actually she should babysit Sofia because Callie and Arizona wanted to go out and she sighed.

"Oh damn it. Actually I should have babysit Sofia tonight. You think we could go tomorrow?"

"Oh, what a pity. Well, yeah we could."

Suddenly April remembered Jackson saying to her, that he'd owe her something. Why couldn't she just ask him to take care of Sofia?

"You know what? I ask Jackson to take care of Sofia, he owes me something, so we could go to Joe's tonight!" April explained cheerfully.

* * *

"Jackson! Hey, wait a second!" April called out when she saw Jackson at the other end of the hallway.

He turned around and smiled when he saw the redhead walking towards him. Izzie followed her and greeted Jackson firmly.

"What's up?"

"I need you to babysit Sofia tonight, because Izzie and I wanted to go out," April explained while smiling at Izzie.

"Ehm...yeah, sure. When will I have to pick her up?"

"At six o' clock at the daycare. I'll inform Callie that you'll take care of her, okay?" April reassured him gleefully.

"Okay, I'll be there."

"Thank you so, so much!" April squealed and kissed him on the cheek and left with a curiously looking Izzie.

She needed to know what was going on between the two doctors.

* * *

"Hey, Sofia, it's me, Jackson," The plastic surgeon murmured smiling when he picked he up at the daycare.

"Mommy? Mama?" Sofia asked looking for her moms.

"You mommy's out on a date so I take care of you, okay?" Jackson explained and hoisted her on his hip. She rested her head on his shoulder and played with the collar of his navy long-sleeved shirt.

The way to his condo next to the Kinnear Park went smooth, they had baby-talk conversation and the giggles of Sofia were adorable. When they entered his condo he first brought her to the kitchen to get her something to eat.

"So, what do you want to eat?" Jackson's voice came from the fridge when he put out a bundle of carrots and a few apples.

Sofia pointed at the apples, so Jackson put them in the mixer to make her pap.

* * *

One and a half hours later Jackson woke up by the knocking on his door. Sofia had fallen asleep some time ago on his chest so he carefully placed her on his wide couch.

He opened the door and found a puffy from crying Callie. Her mascara was slightly blurred and you were able to see the tear stains.

"Oh! Come in...," Jackson said confused and put one hand on her shoulder.

When she entered the foyer he asked sympathetic:

"What happened?"

Now, Callie started to cry again. Jackson wasn't sure what he should do, but he then decided to hug her. She clenched his torso and sobbed:

"Arizona cheated on me."

* * *

**Yeah, I decided to put the Calzona cheating into this fanfic, hope you're okay with it.  
It would be awesome if you leave a suggestions for the next chapter or more important a review.  
The next chapter will be updated on sunday and be prepared...^^**


	12. Terror Attack

**Hey!**  
**So here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I say it again, if Grey's was mine...**

* * *

**Chapter XII: Terror Attack**

_"Let the sky fall  
When it crumbles  
We will stand tall  
Face it all together"_

Jackson couldn't believe what the ortho surgeon just had said. Arizona Robbins had cheated on Callie Torres. Woah.

"Hey, come with me, you should sit down...," Jackson ordered quiet and led her to his living room. They sat down on the smaller couch next to the one on which Sofia slept.

"I-I-I wanted to pick her up at the NICU and she...she stood there with Dr. Boswell. A-a-and then I noticed...I noticed Arizona's...wedding r-r-ring pinned up on her scrub t-t-top. We f-f-fought...," Callie explained heavy sobbing with her head on the plastics fellow.

He gently rubbed her shoulder and had to process the information. Woah. But what should he do? Callie and he wasn't so close as she had been with Mark or he with April. After a moment she continued to Jackson's relief:

"I-I-I thought we were past the hard stuff a-a-and I told her that. God, we're...we're married and we have a-a-a child!" The Latina whispered under tears and looked to her girl. She laid there and slept so peaceful having no idea what happened to her mothers.

"A-a-and then I told her what we all have been through...M-m-mark, the plane crash and the b-b-bankruptcy. She then yelled at me that I wasn't on t-t-the freaking plane, that I hadn't had to hear everything that had happened in the woods and it...it wasn't my experience. I-I-I lost Mark and a-a-almost her!"

"Yeah...," was everything Jackson was able to say. Talking about Sloan was still difficult for him. He had been such a great mentor and especially a substitute-brother, an awesome one.

"A-Arizona then said asked me if I wanted the badge of honor or the warrior wounds. Because when I wanted then I should stick out my leg and she'll get a bone saw and go even the score..."  
Callie was now furious, she had stood up and threw her arms up in frustration.

"It's all coming back to the freaking leg! She seriously thought I didn't lose anything? I lost her and Mark! I lost two lives that knocks the spots off the damn leg!" Callie nearly screamed furiously. Jackson jumped over to Sofia's couch and put his hands over her ears to let her sleep.  
And if Jackson thought the ortho surgeon wouldn't get any louder; dude he was wrong. She wasn't able to stand still so she walked the whole time up and down the living room and started to yell in Spanish. Jackson decided to pick Sofia up to bring her to his bedroom, halfway on his way she asked loud:

"Espera un momento!"

Jackson didn't speak Spanish but he knew what she meant and turned around:

"What?"

"What are you thinking you're doing with my child?" She asked again and pointed her finger at him.

"Try to let her sleep?!"

Callie just turned around and went on with her cursing.

Jackson laid the little kid in the middle of his wide bed and but the blanket under her chin. He ran his hand along her cheek and whispered:

"Your mommys going to be fine again, trust me."

He made his way back to the living room and found a totally devastate Callie. The plastic fellow sat next to her and put his arm again around her shoulder.

"Ya' know, you can move in with me for a while as long you don't want to be with her," Jackson proposed sympathetic.

"That's really cute from you, but it's still my apartment, but thank you really much, I appreciate it," The Latina smiled slightly in response.

They rested in this position for five minutes until Callie interrupted the silence:

"But can I stay for the night?"

"Of course you can! You and Sofia can sleep in my bed and I will stay at the couch, it's okay!" Jackson answered smiling.

"Thank you so much!" Callie required and hugged him.

"No Problem! You need any diaper or something?"

"Yeah right. I totally forgot about that. I-I pick them up, can you watch Sofia until then?"

"Sure, she's asleep so don't worry," He reassured her and wanted to get up to look after Sofia.  
Before he opened the door quietly Callie said:

"Thank you, Avery. Really."

Jackson turned around and just smiled as answer.

* * *

April got up at six o'clock in the morning and stood up immediately, she was a morning person. She took a shower and while she let the water flew down her body she thought about the current thing that was going on between her and Jackson. That Jackson had kicked Alex under the table because he had said she wasn't hot made her feel unbelievable good. So Jackson had done this either because he wanted to protect her like in the good old times or he thought she was hot. Of course she hoped he did it because he thought she was hot, which girl wouldn't do that? Today she decided to use the vanilla hair shampoo and the appropriate shower gel, it was her favorite. She first bought it in the last year of residency when she was Christmas shopping with Jackson. They had gone into a perfumery because she had looked for a perfume set for her older sister Libby. Jackson had supported her by the choice but they had eventually ended up at the shower gels, because she had needed a new one. She had asked him for help and his first idea had been the vanilla one, Jackson had reasoned it with saying it reminded him of her. April had blushed and had started to stutter a "Thank you" after he had said it and he had to chuckle and hugged her. When they had arrived at the checkout counter Jackson had fished the shower gel out of her basket which she had carried on her arm with the excuse that this was going to be one of her Christmas gift. She had looked shocked at him and had been most confused about the part "being one of her gifts". He had just smiled at her and had waited with her in the line. This was the first time April noticed the growing feelings for him.

Ten minutes later she sat in the kitchen and ate her toast and read the newspaper. The title said: "President visiting the governor in the Space Needle". April browsed through the rest of the newspaper and finally left the apartment...

* * *

_6 hours later after April, Jackson, Callie and all the other surgeons at the Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital had arrived..._

Jackson was currently in a meeting when he got a page, they needed him in the ER. He excused himself and left. When he arrived at the ER he found nearly every hospital surgeon in the parking bay, they were all totally anxious. Jackson went to April seeing her going up and down in front of the door and asked:

"Hey, April! What the devil is going on here?"

"There was a terror attack in front of the Space Needle. We'll get about fifty patients, the others we're spread over the whole Seattle area. Oh my god I'm so scared...," April admitted anxious. Jackson place both of his hands on her shoulders and said:

"Okay, we can do this. You're fine?" Jackson asked worried.

"Yeah, I guess...," April whispered and exhaled.

Jackson felt bad because she wasn't fine. A terror attack was the last thing they needed here at the GSMH.

"What kind of terror attack was it? Bomb or gun battle?"

"Both, but mostly bomb wounds."

Jackson nodded and walked with her out when they heard the sirens of the ambulances.

Christina got the first one, then came Meredith, Alex, Callie, Arizona and then April.

The paramedic Darren came out and said:

"Yasha Antun. Is about the mid twenties. His arms were blown away, is about to bleed out and was briefly in cardiac arrest. He is also unconscious at the moment"

"Okay, let's get him into the trauma room, it's serious," April said and rushed into the ER.

Jackson got the next one, a little girl. His paramedic was Mia and told him the facts:

"Sophie Kennedy, 4 years old, deep laceration on her left cheek."

"All right, let's go," Jackson murmured and shoved her into the ER.

He suddenly heard the crying of the little girl. He took her hand and said:

"Hey Sophie, I'm Jackson. I'm your doctor and I help you so you'll feel better, okay?"

"I-I-I want my mommy!" The little girl whined.

"I'm sure your mommy shows up soon, don't worry."

Sophie nodded still crying but she calmed herself a little down.

When they arrived at a treatment room he still hold her hand. Jackson placed his hands under her armpits and wanted to lay her down on the bed but she reached out and grabbed for his neck. Finally he hugged her and caressed carefully her back.

April who was in the room on the opposite looked through the window and smiled when she saw Jackson cuddling with the little girl. On her opinion it looked adorable, Jackson would made a fantastic father. But she had a patient at the moment which she should treat now. They didn't got the whole arms, they were ragged, so April had to stitch. Dr. Schmidt, the plastic surgeon, was with her and already said that he had no choice, he would lose both of his arms for now.

"We need a OR now!" April announced but Dr. Schmidt replied that there was no OR free at the moment so they had to do the surgery in the trauma room.

They anesthetized Yasha and April started to work on his arms.

Back at the trauma room where Jackson finally got Sophie in her bed:

"Sophie, listen to me. I'll give you something that will stop your pain. You'll feel better within seconds, okay?" Jackson explained and smiled at her. Sophie nodded and let Jackson give her the medicine.

"Soo, I have to stitch your cheek, here look," Jackson said and showed Sophie the suture.

"Will it hurt?" Sophie asked worried and looked with her huge brown eyes at Jackson.

"I know that you scared, but you don't have to. The medicine I gave you numbs your cheek so you won't feel anything when I stitch your wound," Jackson answered and smiled at her. She grabbed his hand and hold it tight. Luckily just in time her mother showed up, she just had some scratches, and ran immediately to her daughter.

"Oh my god, Sophie! I'm so so sorry, I should have...," Ms. Kennedy cried and hold her kid tight.

Jackson stood there for three minutes when Sophia's mother finally let her go.

"I-I'm sorry...I-I..." Ms. Kennedy sobbed.

Jackson reached out his hand and said:

"I'm Dr. Avery."

The women in the mid twenty shook his hand and he continued:

"You're daughter has a deep laceration on her cheek. I just have to stitch it, it wouldn't even take five minutes. I would be great if you take Sophie on your lab so I could get a better position"

Ms. Kennedy nodded and sat down at the table carrying Sophie on her lab.

Jackson took the needle and thread and started to stitch the wound. After eleven stitches he had finished and turned around, opened one door in the shelf and put out a patch with fairies on it. He placed it carefully on her cheek and said smiling:

"That looks pretty cool now, Sophie. And come back in ten days, because then we can remove the stitches."

Sophie grabbed again for Jackson and he first looked at her mother for consent but she just nodded smiling. He hugged her and Sophie whispered in his ear:

"Thank you, Jackson."

He had to smile bright and whispered back:

"No problem, Sophie."

Sophie giggled and Jackson had to chuckle about the adorable way her giggle sounded like. He gave Sophie back to her mom and said goodbye.

_Back at April's patient..._

April had already managed to get the bleeding under control but she still had to stitch it. Suddenly Dr. Schmidt got paged, they needed him on a pretty ugly burn case, and asked:

"Dr. Kepner, I gotta go. But I see that Dr. Avery is done with his patient, I get him for you, okay?"

"That would be great, thank you Dr. Schmidt!" April smiled while she grabbed the treatment.

Just a few seconds after Dr. Schmidt had left, Jackson appeared in the doorframe and looked at the patient.

"Okay, what's up with him?"

"His arms were blown away, went into cardiac arrest and is unconscious at the moment."

"All right, you were about to stitch his arms, weren't you?"

April nodded looking at him and Jackson knew what they were going to do, each of them would stitch one. They took their seat in front of each other and started to treat the rest of his arms.

"Do you know what exactly happened in front of the Space Needle?"

"I have no clue, I haven't spoke to someone recently, but I guess they talk to you first instead of me, Jackson," April answered and smiled slightly at him.

"Holy crap, I have to talk in front of the journalists, shouldn't I? Damn it," Jackson cursed, he hated to talk in front of cameras, he usually got nervous or in the worst case he would break down.

"Hey, don't worry, I guess Hunt has do it, so calm down," She encouraged him and looked up.

"Thank you," Jackson smiled at her.

But their lovely gaze was interrupted by the beeping of the heart-monitor. Jackson looked up and said:

"He has ventricular fibrillation. Defibrillator!"

April grabbed the defibrillator and started the CPR. After two shocks his heart recovered and his heart started to work again.

Suddenly April heard metal falling down on the ground so she looked what it was. She bended down and looked at it - it was a long necklace with a round pendant. April reared up and looked at the pendant. When she saw what was on it she had to gasped and Jackson looked confused at her.

April looked up, her eyes were wide in shock and whispered horrified:

"Jackson..."

* * *

**Hehe, guess what's on the pendant ;-)**

As always, please review or give me suggestion, that'd be great!

I'm not sure whether I can upload the next chapter on wednesday, because I'm not sure whether I go on a trip. But I'll upload it definitely on saturday or sunday.


	13. I won't let you go

**Hey,  
first of all thank you so, so, so much for the lovely reviews, they mean more to me than you think :*)**

So, I think I never wrote a chapter so difficult like this here. I know it might sounds insane how Yusuf reacts, but I wanted him to seem insecure and torn. I hope I got the point a little bit, please tell me what you think about it!

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**Chapter XII: I won't let you go**

_"For this is the end  
I've drowned and dreamt this moment  
So overdue I owe them  
Swept away, I'm stolen"_

"April? What's wrong?" Jackson asked worried.

Instead of answering she turned the pendant around so he saw what was on it.

Jackson's mouth dropped open and he breathed:

"Oh no..."

On the pendant was the flag of the terrorist organization "Al-Qaeda".

April still looked horrified at Jackson and stuttered:

"Is...is he responsible for the terror attack? He did it?"

Jackson exhaled and said:

"We...maybe he's a suicide bomber and has a bomb in his body. I-I get us Dr. Hunt I think he knows a little bit more about it than I do," He answered with his voice vibrating and was on his way to the door when he heard April's quiet question:

"But Jackson, what if he has another cardiac arrest?"

April wasn't able to think clear. Sure, she knew how to handle a cardiac arrest, but this guy was probably a guy who killed so many people!

Jackson turned around and said:

"Dr. Ross, would you please look after Dr. Hunt?"

He was sure that the intern Ross was able to do the CPR, but April was so shocked that he stayed. Ross got up and said:

"I'll do it."

Jackson nodded and answered:

"Okay, thanks. Now back to him...I think he's a guy from Al-Qaeda. Nobody carries a pendant with the flag on it just for fun."

April had started to shiver and she was freaking feared. She didn't want to live trough a situation like the shooting again...

"What do you think should we do?" Jackson asked April still staying paralyzed at the arm of Yasha.

"I-I don't know," April said quietly and slowly her eyes filled with tears of fear.

Jackson saw that her eyes were glossy but he wasn't sure whether he could go to her and hug her. She needed him and actually he was her best friend, so he should freaking be there for her. They were alone at the room so he admitted honest:

"If he seriously was the responsible guy, I don't want him to survive. He was responsible that people were hurt, that some people might be dead. That families aren't going to be the same. I really don't want to, but we have keep him alive."

Now April couldn't held back the tears and they fell down her face.

"Hey...Shh," Jackson whispered worried and walked around the table and finally hugged her. She put her arms around his navy scrub top and hold his torso tight, Jackson ran his hand up and down her back while one hand rested at her neck.

April felt immediately better when she felt his body against hers, especially her head against his chest. She loved how he smelled and breathed it in.

"I guess we should get him in the O.R. to work on his arms. What about this?" Jackson proposed.

"You're an amazing person, you know this, right?" April whispered against his chest.

"You're sure you're talking about me?" Jackson asked but had to smile.

"Yeah...," The trauma surgeon breathed smiling up at him but then resting her head back it his chest.

"Thank you, April...," Jackson said quietly and kissed her part.

April was for a second speechless but she than answered:

"You're welcome..."

Their intimate moment was ruined by the beeping of the monitor.

"Ahh shit," Jackson cursed and was about to start the CPR.

"No, let me do it, you go and drive this bed to the O.R., I jump on him and start CPR," April said loud and climbed on the bed and started the CPR.

"All right."

Jackson pushed the door open and shoved the bed out of the trauma room. He got barely a few steps when he heard a loud man's voice:

"Stop!"

Jackson turned to the voice and saw a man who looked like he was from an Arabian country and was not even 20.

The guy came closer to the bed and said:

"What's wrong with him?"

"Can I tell you that later?"

Suddenly everything went fast. The guy took out a gun and pointed it at Jackson and suddenly it was horrifying quiet in the pit. Then, the man shouted angry:

"What is wrong with him?"

April had stopped the CPR and had squeaked when the man pointed the gun at Jackson. He slowly raised his hands and looked quickly at April.

"April! Keep goin'!" Jackson said quietly but he didn't take his gaze away from the gun.

But April couldn't go on, she sat there paralyzed and her eyes again started to fill with tears. If this guy was going to shoot, she had to see it the second time that somebody got shot in front of her. But this time it was Jackson. She couldn't let Jackson get shot, he was the man she loved!

In the meantime Alex moved slowly behind them to the door and quietly opened it. He would call the SWAT, he wouldn't let his friends die.

"You heard the man, keep going!" The guy said.

Now the tears ran down April's face and dropped on Yasha's chest. The Arab now pointed his gun at her and she started to whine.

"Hey, April. Look at me. Just keep going, okay?" Jackson said horrified. Now his worst nightmare came true...

"I-I can't...," April whispered to Jackson and he sighed.

"You can do this, I believe in you that you can do this, April. You're strong, we will get through this together. You and me, remember?" Jackson whispered so only April was able to hear him.

April looked up, breathed and kept going:

"You and me..."

"So what is wrong with him?" The Arabic shouted again.

"I tell you something, if you want that he survives this, put the gun down and let us do our work!" Jackson answered loud.

"He's responsible that this here happened. And you want him to survive this?"

"Just put the freaking gun down and let us save this guy!" Jackson spoke loudly.

"J-Jackson...If we wait any longer, he's not going to survive this...," April whispered with tears trailing down her cheeks.

"I know it's much to ask, but please keep going. And if it looks like we waited too long, stop it, okay? " Jackson pleased quietly and looked again at April - a mistake.

"Look at me when I'm talking with you or I shoot your girl!"

Jackson looked immediately back at the Arabic, he wasn't going to let April got shot, never.

It had been four minutes and seven seconds since April started the CPR, he wouldn't longer stand this, because they had no medicine or the time to do something different than lifesaving with CPR. It was like Jackson was able to read April's mind, he thought the same.

The guy looked hate-filled at Yasha and began to talk:

"My name's Yusuf, I'm the younger brother of Yasha, your patient. We're responsible for what happened down at the Space Needle. Yasha's also a member of Al-Qaeda...and so am I."

The gasps from patients and doctors were loud enough that everyone was able to hear them. After the bomb, the shooting, the plane crash and everything else, they had two guys from Al-Qaeda here...

"He forced me to join them when I was 18, now I'm 19. The last five years he abused me. And now, does it sounds selfish when I say that I'm happy when he'd die? I didn't want anything from this shit I'm now confronted with." Yusuf asked desperate.

"But what would it bring when you shoot one of us?" Jackson asked slowly.

"You keep him alive and I don't want this, so I'm waiting here until he dies ..."

April's arms hurt like hell, she wasn't able to do the CPR any longer.

Now, it had been six minutes and fourteen seconds since she tried to reanimate her patient, but nothing worked... Her tears still trailed down her cheeks and she became slower, she had lost Yasha. Finally April looked up to Jackson and whispered:

"He's dead...it's over...he's dead..."

Jackson closed his eyes and exhaled agonized. He had to talk to Yusuf...

"What did she said?" Yusuf asked.

"I'm really sorry, but-"

"He died?" Yusuf he asked hopefully.

Jackson nodded slowly, he was shocked how happy Yusuf was about the death of his brother...

But then suddenly the expression on Yusuf's face changed, it became sad and then angry. His arm now started to shiver uncontrollably and finally he put the gun down. He looked up to April and said:

"Come down from the bed."

April looked feared at Jackson and he shook his head. He wouldn't let April get shot. Sure, she could get shot even when she sat on the bed, but he was afraid what Yusuf would do with her when she stand.

"I said, come down from the bed!" Yusuf said angry.

April looked panicked to Jackson and he had to think about what he should do. Should he let her go with the risk that she might get shot? Or should she stay where she was?

"I can't let you go down there, April...," Jackson whispered freaking scared.

"We will get through this together, remember?" April whispered back with a weak smile.

She moved back from the torso and slowly got back to ground. She was now a few feet away from Yusuf and he suddenly came close and before she knew what happened she had the big gun at her left temple and she stood right in front of him, her back against his chest. April held her breath with her eyes wide open in shock. This guy was going to kill her! Should she start talking again? Like she did when Gary Clark pointed the gun at her? If she was about to die, should she say that she loved Jackson? Just in case there's no later? She had to, so she opened her mouth but no voice came out of it...

Jackson became suddenly angry as hell. This guy wasn't going to kill his April. This couldn't end like his nightmare, if somebody had to get shot, it had to be him. It was his freaking fault that April stood there with the gun at her temple. Jackson and April stood maybe six feet away from him, he had to get to her.

"You killed my brother, you little bitch!" The brother of Yasha shouted at April and she winced whining. Now Yusuf was really sad about the death of his brother? What was wrong with him?

"Take that back," Jackson said, his voice vibrated because he was so angry.

"Why should I? She killed my brother!" He answered and his voice broke.

"Jackson...," April sobbed quietly and was about to say out loud her feelings but again she couldn't finish.

"Hey, everything's going to be fine, okay?" Jackson said worried, it was time the he do something.

"I wouldn't be so sure about it...You know, before we kill somebody we torture them, so is the little whore your girlfriend? What do you think about this?" He laughed and moved his hand up to April's breast, she just started to cry even more.

"Get your freaking nasty hands off her!" Jackson shouted and came closer.

Still, nobody had moved in the pit, all the memories from the shooting came back. The only patients which were still here, were the cases of Christina, Owen and Bailey. All of them had experienced hard stuff during the shooting, and they definitely didn't want to live through it again, nobody of them could move, though. But somehow they had to help April and Jackson...  
Owen looked at Christina who stood next to her patient and shivered like Bailey did.

Yusuf had replaced his hand and looked back at Jackson suddenly with a sad smile. April still cried and looked at him.

"What is your freaking problem?" Jackson asked desperate. He had to save April...and the only way to save her was that he went sacrificing himself...

"She killed my brother! What would you do when somebody killed one member of your family?" Yusuf asked back and his eyes became glossy.

"Funny, that you ask me how_ I_ would feel when my family got killed. Ironically, my father, my brother and my sister were killed on 9/11. I know pretty accurate how you feel," Jackson laughed humorless.

Now, if it was even possible, it got so quiet you were able to hear a feather trailing down to the ground. Nobody of them had known that Jackson had siblings, even April didn't knew that. She formed with her lips a inaudible "What?" and gazed at him. Yusuf also looked at him in disbelief and asked quiet:

Yusuf remained silent and looked back at Jackson

The plastic surgeon felt terrible, never talking about his family made this theme a little inviolable to him. Sure he thought about his dad, Skylar and Penelope every day, they were his family.

April saw the heavy sadness in his eyes and felt sick. She just couldn't stand her any longer with the gun at her neck, she had to say something. And finally she was courageous enough to say something more or less out loud.

"Yusuf, are you sure that you don't care about your brother?"

"He's my brother, actually I should care about him, but he also put me through all this shit. Do you think I wanted to be a member of Al-Qaeda? He threatened me to kill my girlfriend when I wouldn't join. After I was a member, he killed her, even though I joined. And this is why I hate him so much, but he's also my brother. When we were younger he was always there for me...And eventually he turned into this asshole," Yusuf replied with a sad expression on his face.

Now it was time for April to say what she wanted to say five minutes ago.

"The guy standing in front of us is the man I love more than anything. If you kill one of us, you're like your brother...," April admitted shy and looked up into the surprised face of Jackson.

Jackson's mouth slowly dropped open. So what April said was true? Or did she just said it in the heat of the moment? Jackson just wanted to make a move towards her and just kiss her, and tell her that he loved her, too. And he had done wasn't there a guy with a gun pointing at her head.

April bit down at her bottom lip and looked back on the floor. Now that she had said it out loud she felt better. But what would Jackson say?

"Oh! But why are you allowed to live and my girlfriend not? Why are you allowed to be happy and I'm not? I should shoot you."

"No. Shoot me. I'm responsible for what happened to your brother," Jackson finally said. April wasn't going to get shot, never. His nightmare shouldn't turn out the way it always turned out.

April looked up again and said in disbelief:

"No, no, no!"

"Please. It's not her fault. If you wanna make somebody responsible shoot me. I said she should stop, it was my decision," Jackson answered quietly. His heart began to race, the prospect of April not getting shot felt good.

Yusuf looked between April and Jackson, but just in time the doors behind him opened quiet and the SWAT-members came in. Their guns showed at Yusuf and Jackson smiled weak, it looked like they were rescuing them.

"Say goodbye...," Yusuf whispered and pulled the trigger.

* * *

**Yeah, the cliffhanger is evil ^^  
I really want to know what you think about this whole Yusuf thing, I'd really appreciate it.**  
**Thanks again for reading and please take a minute to leave a reveiw**


	14. The Aftermath

**Hey floks,  
at first, I am really sorry that it took me so long to update this fic, but I was very busy and I had problems to fulfil the last chapter.  
I hope you'll be okay with the chapter :)**

Thanks for reading and for the lovely reviwes! :*)

* * *

**Chapter XII: ****The Aftermath**

_"All my heart, it breaks every step that I take  
But I'm hoping that the gates,  
They'll tell me that you're mine  
Walking through the city streets  
Is it by mistake or design?"_

In April's eyes it was like Jackson broke down in slow-motion.

While Jackson fell, he heard another shoot. Did Yusuf also shot April? No, god damn it, please not! He finally landed on the ground and during this his head thudded on the floor.

But April wasn't the one who got shot, Yusuf was shot by the SWAT.

"Jackson! No! Jaaackson!" April screamed high-pitched and ran to him. It was like her heart was ripped out, she had massive problems with breathing, it was like her trachea was cut. The trauma surgeon grabbed her throat and bended. This was abominable nightmare, Jackson wasn't shot, this...this couldn't be real. Even though she ran to him and kneed down, put his head on her lap and grabbed his hand squeezing it strong.

"Jackson, you're fucking listening to me now, okay? You won't die, dufus, you're hearing me?!" April cursed and her tears were falling down on his face.

If Jackson was about to die he wanted to say what he should have done so much earlier. He heard what she said and after he took a few run-ups he was finally able to say what was due:

"I..."

The smell of her vanilla shampoo and that his hand she was holding started to hurt were the last things he realized before he passed away. His eyes fluttered a last time and April began to sob with her whole body shivering like hell. She slapped him and whispered angry:

"How dare you die in my arms, you moron?! You come back and then we have our freaking wedding and be amazing parents, remember?"

"April! April, hey!" Izzie's voice came from behind her. She placed her hands on April's shoulders and tried to move her back.

They heard wheezes from the flinching Yusuf who was now surrounded by the SWAT members.

She hadn't realized that Christina, Owen, Alex and Bailey also stood there.

"April, we need to go. Come, stay up...," Izzie tried to get her away.

"Dr. Kepner! We need to get him into the OR!" Christina said loud.

Now she finally looked up and noticed that her thighs had gotten warm...because of his blood. She slowly got up and lurched back, because she felt sick in her stomach, and she had the feeling that she'd throw up every second. Before she was able to fall down, Izzie hold her and sat her down on the chair from the nurse station.

Alex helped Hunt and the nurse Tyler to lay Jackson on a gurney to rush him into surgery. April was still sobbing and shivering and finally Alex proposed after going to her:

"Hey, come on April, we get you to the attendings lounge...You want something to drink?"

"I want Jackson...," She answered so quiet she barely understood herself.

"Come on, April, we gotta go."

"I want to see the surgery...," April whispered and looked up to Izzie and Alex. She felt totally empty. So this was how it felt to see your loved one get hurt. April realized this tied feeling in her chest which got worse the more time passed away. In front of her eyes the whole scenario repeated again and again, so what Jackson had dreamed had happened...

"No...I don't think that's a good idea...," Alex answered and still looked horrified by what just had happened.

April looked like a little puppy up to him and begged whispering:

"Please, let me see the surgery...please!"

Alex looked to Izzie who nodded slightly. She placed her hand on April's shoulder and said:

"Come, let's go, Dimples."

The trauma surgeon stood up slowly and Izzie put one arm around her shoulder, guiding her to the gallery with Alex in tow. April sat down in the middle of the front row, Izzie and Alex on her sides.

Jackson laid on the OR table and Christina and Owen were just opening his chest. April's mind raised like a formula 1 car through Monaco. April reminded all the memories she had shared with Jackson, when they first met at Mercy West, their first night together in San Francisco, when he proposed to her...proposed to her...proposed to her? Oh Jesus Christ... She felt like the biggest idiot in this world, she should had taken this more or less official proposal serious, maybe with this, she wouldn't be in this situation? But, now back to reality, no marriage would protect someone from getting shot.

"I just can't freaking sit here and do nothing while he's in surgery," Alex said and stood up, leaving the gallery.

"Alex! Where are you going!?" Izzie asked and followed him outside.

"Go down and ask whether I can help them! Just stay with April before she starts freaking out. Trust me, it'll -"

They suddenly heard a high-pitched scream and ran back to the gallery, finding April kneeing at the window holding her hands on it.

Izzie stopped in front of her but looked down at the OR and found Christina and Owen's scrubs plus parts of their faces covered with blood.

"I help them!" Alex stated and ran off to the OR.

The OB/Gyn surgeon was able to persuade April to side down and asked:

"What the hell happened?"

"T-t-the cartridge e-e-exploded!"

And if it the situation wasn't bad enough his blood pressure dropped rapid...

* * *

_Ten minutes ago from Jackson's perspective..._

Jackson felt the pain in the left side of his chest and suddenly he had problems with breathing. He broke slowly down and felt how a liquid flowed down his back - blood. Another shot occurred and he was suddenly scared as hell, was April shot? But to his relief he heard her screaming out his name. When his head thudded on the floor he realized a mean pain in his head, but a few seconds later he saw April next to him which made him feel better. Everything he saw became darker and darker, but he still heard April cursing at him. If he was about to die, he wanted to say those four words he should already said out loud, like Summer and Mark had told him.

"I..."

And then his eyes closed and the sounds of the pit faded away.

A few moments later he found himself on a gurney and the ceiling of the hospital rushed away in front of his eyes. Owen realized the now awake plastic surgeon and said quietly:

"Avery, stay with me, okay? Stay. With. Me."

Jackson looked at him, but the whole scene became darker and darker again. He lost his consciousness just when they put him on the OR table.

The anesthetist drugged him, and for him a few seconds later, the whole scenario replayed in his head. But suddenly his whole life from the first day he could remember to the last was seemed to happen in his head again. Finally he noticed a fair light and the next thing he saw was a huge vanilla farm.

What he saw took his breath, his eyes opened in shock. Standing in between the vanilla beans he saw his father, his brothers and sister, Mark, Charles and Lexie.

Did that mean...he was...dead?

* * *

"Oh my God, oh my god," April stuttered sobbing when she saw that his blood pressure was at 20.

"Okay, hun, everything's going to be fine. Come, you need to sit down," Izzie tried to persuade her desperately, but April refused and kneed there with her hands on the glass.

Jackson couldn't just die on the OR table, he had to live, at least for her. Finally, Alex appeared in the OR to help Christina and Owen. He walked to the side of the cardio surgeon and placed his hand into his friend's chest - a really creepy feeling.

Because Izzie wasn't able to calm April down, she walked to the intercom and turned it down.

"Okay, since you won't listen to me the easy way, I have to say it this way. I know that you feel totally empty right know, but if you just stand there and look down on him, you're not doing a favor for any one of you, you understand me?"

And for the first time, April looked up and her red, teary eyes showed the first time in the last couple of minutes a strong emotion - anger.

"Are you kidding me? I'm maybe about to lose the man I love more than I loved any other male in my entire _life_ and you are telling me that I should calm down? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" April nearly screamed at her new friend.

But Izzie just smiled and said:

"Look, his blood pressure rises..."

April spun her head around to see that his blood pressure was really rising. She exhaled heavily and started to cry again, but this time they were tears of relief. After looking down on Owen who gazed concerned up to her, she sat down and Izzie followed her. The trauma surgeon ran her hands over her face and finally laid her head on the OB/Gyn surgeon's shoulder.

Okay, so Jackson had nearly died twice this day and she was sure that she wouldn't survive another time for sure.

* * *

"Jackson?" He heard his sister asking, but before he was able to answer, she had already hugged him, her arms tight around his neck. Jackson put his arms around her waist and her long, slightly curled, black hair covered his face.

"Penelope Yara Avery!" Jackson said smiling and slowly a tiny tear escaped his eye. Penelope was his three years younger little sister and he always had a very close bond with her during their childhood and teenager time. Even though it had been twelve years since he saw her the last time, she hadn't changed. She still looked like the sixteen years old girl, her hair was still a little sleek with big waves. Penelope had always been tall, but she was one head smaller than Jackson and his older brothers Skylar and Joshua.

"You shouldn't be here already, Avery," Jackson heard the voice of Mark Sloan.

"Well, you guys neither," Jackson said taken back by the presence of all this people he had loved and lost. His sister leaned her head shortly against his shoulder but then checked out how much he had changed since September 2001.

"And I thought the Plastic Posse would live on," The former chief of plastics answered back with a wide smile. He opened his arms and gave the smaller man a tight hug.

And then he forgot about what just had happened down on earth for a short moment.

* * *

The surgery lasted additionally five hours, which where pure torture for April. Jackson crashed three more times and he was diagnosed with aortic dissection. His ventricle were badly damaged so after some discussion they decided to place him temporally in an artificial coma.

After the surgery Christina and Owen came to April to tell Jackson's current status.

"We'll place him in an artificial coma for at least a week, then we'll see how he's doing," Owen explained sympathetic her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

April nodded dazed and whispered a husky:

"Thank you, for everything you did, really. Thank you three so, so much."

They all nodded, but Alex stayed and said:

"We should call Mama Avery, I'll do it, okay?"

"No, I will...this is all my freaking fault, I need to do this," April breathed quietly and dialed Catherine's number.

"April, dear, are you okay after all?" The urologist asked with a fragile voice.

"Dr. Avery, I am so, so, so sorry. I didn't want him to suffer now because of me -" April started to cry again. Talking to his mother was painful, but at least she hadn't punished her -yet.

"Hey, he decided to rescue you, that just shows how much he loves you, darling. My plane is ready to take-off in twenty minutes, I'll be there within' six hours. And then we can talk, don't worry my dear, everything is going to be fine, all right?"

April nodded slightly and said goodbye to Catherine. Izzie asked what she wanted to do now, and all she wanted was to see Jackson so they went to the CICU. When April looked through the window she was shocked, because he looked so tiny in the bed. The blue tube looked out of his mouth and the respirator hummed quietly. April slowly entered the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. She carefully took his hand and new tears started to trail down her cheeks. She buried her face in the crook of his elbow. The trauma surgeon whispered "I love you" and " I am so sorry" over and over again, while the knot in her chest nearly killed her.

How much did she wished that she'd just wake up and realize that this whole shit was just a very real nightmare. How much did she wished that Jackson would wake up and be fine within days?

* * *

**So yeah, this is what you'll have to deal with the next chapters :-)**  
**I know this has a MerDer slang, but it won't be like this, trust me.**

**Thanks again for reading and please leave me a review for any suggestions etc. :)**


	15. What really happened

**Hi,  
so yeah, here's finally the next chapter, it'll show you a bit what happened on 9/11.  
Thanks fo reading! :)**

* * *

**Chapter XV: What really happened**

_"Bittersweet memories, _  
_That is all I'm taking with me. _  
_So goodbye, please don't cry. "_

Catherine walked to the CICU and stopped in front of the window to see April's face buried on her last remaining son's arm. She exhaled to suppress her tears and blinked frequently before entering the room. April had fallen asleep so she gently rubbed her shoulder to wake her up.**  
**The urologist smiled slightly at her when she looked sleepy from Jackson to his mother and back. Suddenly April's eyes became glossy again and she started to sob:

"Oh my God, I'm so, so sorry...I-I-It's all my fault...I-I-I-"

"Oh no, dear, it's not your fault. He decided to protect you, it was his choice, all right?"

Mama Avery hugged the younger surgeon and whispered with now glossy eyes, too:

"He'll wake up, he's a fighter. And don't forget what he's already been through, darling."

April felt terrible, because maybe Catherine was about to lose her last child, and she had this abominable feeling that it was her fucking fault.

"But...but what if he won't wake up? I mean...he's...he's your last child," April choked and looked up to the surprised face of Catherine Avery.

"He never told you, didn't he?" She asked and moved back.

"Told me what?" The trauma surgeon asked confused.

"About his siblings and father?"

"No, I just learned that he lost his father, brother and sister on 9/11," April required confused.

"Well, I think we should talk, my dear. Let's go to the cafeteria."

April nodded slightly, but turned around to peck Jackson on the cheek. Slowly, she and his mother walked out of the room and made their way to the cafeteria. On their way they met Webber, who hugged Catherine saying, that she could crash at him for the time she stayed here. The urologist thanked him and with April in tow, they entered the cafeteria. It was really empty, because all the other surgeons were still with the patients from the terror attack. After another bomb explosion, they had gotten about twenty more patients. April wasn't hungry, she still felt sick like she could throw up every second.

They sat down and Catherine started talking...

* * *

_It was five o' clock in the morning when Jackson, Cora and his mother arrived at the airport of Boston. Today they' would celebrate Cora's graduation in New York, their father had invited them to eat breakfast in the Windows on The World, a noble restaurant in the north tower of the World Trade Center. The half of the Avery Clan entered the security check and put down all their belongings on a tray._

_"When will we meet dad and the others in New York?" Cora asked while she grabbed her bag and coat._

_"At quarter to nine, darling."_

_"Yeah right, I forgot, thanks. Do you know whether Josh got his plane?"_

_"No, he didn't get it, I just got his text. He'll try to catch the next flight," Jackson answered instead, waiting for the two Avery ladies._

_"Oh, I was so looking forward to see him again...," Cora replied with a sad expression on her face._

_Josh was the second eldest of the Avery children and had been in Oxford for his medicine study and today he would had come to Boston for this week. But now he had missed his flight, so he woudn't be able to celebrate Cora's graduation._

_They sat down in the waiting lounge to finally border the plane. Jackson looked down on his phone and saw that his other sister Penelope called him._

_" Hey, big brother, you're already at the airport?"_

_"Hey, sure we are. We're currently sitting in the waiting lounge, our plane will depart in 30 Minutes. How are you guys?"_

_"Good, we're waiting for you. Well, Sky is still asleep and I just wanted to call before you guys arrive here."_

_"As if Skylar Avery would wake up before it's 7a.m. Is Dad in the WTC yet?"_

_"Almost, he left the hotel half an hour ago. Would you give your phone to Cora, Jackie? Please, I have to tell her something."_

_"You know that I hate it that you're calling me Jackie just like Grandpa, right? But, I'll give you Cora. Love you both and see you soon!"_

_Jackson gave his cell to his other younger sister and laid back in the seat. He was happy to see Josh and Skylar again since he hadn't seen both in weeks. Sadly, they hadn't been able to celebrate with him his 20th birthday, but in combination with Cora's graduation, they wanted to re-take it today._

_"Here mom, Penelope also wanted to talk to ya'," Cora finally gave her brother's cell to her mother._

_Penelope told them that she loved all of them and hung up. For the last time ever._

* * *

_Jackson, Cora and Mama Avery left the New York airport at quarter to eight. It wasn't easy to get through Queens and Manhattan at this time, so many workers were on their way. It took them an hour to get from the airport to the World Trade Center and it was quarter to nine when they arrived. No one of them knew that their lives would change forever within the next one minute._

_Jackson was about to open the door when they suddenly heard a noise that was almost ear-splitting. All the people around them started screaming an running for their lives, but Cora and Her mother were just staring up to the tower's summit. Cora cried without warning and fell to the ground:_

_"Dad! Penelope! Sky! NOOOO!"_

_The 20 years-old felt a cold fist crushing his heart. He finally looked up and saw that the outside of the building was on fire. Jackson managed to breathe out, but he wasn't able to inhale the air he needed so desperately. The people running away in front of his eyes seemed to move in slow-motion and so did his mind. This couldn't happen. No, his dad and siblings hadn't been caught, no, no, no.  
Jackson expected to hear noises which came from explosions or screaming people, but he didn't hear anything - he felt numb._

_Cora felt a hand grabbing her arm and she looked up, seeing a guy with short black hair and brown eyes trying to pull her up. His voice just came in pieces to her:_

_"I'm James...we need to...this is horrible."_

_Jackson was finally able to breathe in and had to cough hard. Pieces of the building started to fall down and hurt people in the process. His mother was still standing there, looking up to the now in flames standing tower, tears running down her face. Jackson saw a huge glass splitter tumbling down with the task to hit her. The youngest Avery male stormed to his mother, moving her away from her current position. Slowly he became aware again of what just happened. Looking around, he wasn't able to find Cora so he called out her name a few times and finally she arrived at the side of him with another guy._

_"Jackson...mom...this is not happening, isn't it?" The newly graduate asked terrified with tear streams all over her face._

_Jackson felt completely empty, this wasn't happening. He didn't just lost his dad, Penelope and Sky. God damn it, Penelope was only sixteen, she had her whole life in front of her, and Skylar, he was 24, he would had turned 25 in fifteen days..._

_Why was he alive? Why hadn't he been in New York since yesterday? Why in the name of god did this plane crashed into the tower in which the other half of his family was? Why?_

* * *

April had listened to Catherine with a blank expression on her face. She had known Jackson since their first intern year, but never heard about his father, brothers or sisters.

"W-w-what happened to Cora and Josh?" April asked quietly and tried to avoid eye-contact with the urologist.

"Caroline lives in Los Angeles as a cardiothoracic surgeon...and Joshua...well...he was killed later in the Iraq war...," Catherine replied with watery eyes.

"Did he was a trauma surgeon there?"

"No, he was a cardio surgeon just like Caroline."

Slowly, a tiny tear escaped April's eye. She felt so sorry what had happened to the Avery family. Jackson had lost his father, sister and brother in one day, and then later his other brother because of the war that arose because of this one freaking day. She couldn't imagine living without Libby or Alice, she would even miss Kimmie.

"Oh my god, I'm so, so, so sorry...and I shouldn't have asked...I mean...,"

"No, it's okay, my dear. You should know this, because after Jackson wakes up again, you'll be a part of this family."

Now April couldn't keep it together anymore, she started crying again, covering her face with her hands. She'll be a part of his family - if he wakes up at all...

* * *

April looked up to the ceiling, laying in her bed and just breathed in and out. It was hard for her to listen to the Avery's past and she had been constantly afraid that she'd crossed the line by asking about this day.

Her doorbell rang but she didn't get up, she was too exhausted and emotionally devastated to do anything. It rang five more times, but after it had stopped, her cell went off instead. April just wanted to be left alone, so she answered annoyed:

"What?"

"April, I know you're at home, so open your door!" Izzie replied with her free hand on her hip.

"I'm fine." April lied now sitting in her bed.

"You're a terrible liar, April Kepner. You're not okay, and if you're not going to open this door, I'm gonna kick through the door, just to make sure you're not doing something life-weary, okay? And don't forget I grew up on a trailer park in Chehalis!"

"I'll open the door, but just stop," April said and finally allowed Izzie access to her apartment.

Izzie put her basket and sleep belongings on the floor and checked April out.

"I decided to crash here with you until Jackson's getting better. You shouldn't be alone at this time, all right? And don't even try to chuck me out!"

April exhaled sharply and burst out into tears, again. Izzie hugged her tightly and caressed her back sympathetic.

"I baked my mother's favorite chocolate muffins. You should eat one."

April laughed slightly for the first time this day. She took Izzie's sleep belongings and said:

"You can bring the muffins to the living room, I'll bring your things to my bedroom."

Izzie nodded and laid the basket on the coffee table. April arrived there a few seconds later and looked interested on what Izzie had set up in her living room.

"So, I baked you muffins and took some comedy movies with me. I've got the old but gold movie Austin Powers and The Hangover with me. What do you think?"

April smiled slightly and sat down on the couch. She grabbed one of the muffins and bit it. Freaking delicious.

"Oh my god, those are the best chocolate muffins I've ever tasted."

"I know. You get easily obsessed with'em. Just be careful, later you end up as the fattest women alive and then we have to roll you into the hospital,"

April let out a small laugh and leaned back in the couch.

"Okay, before we watch the movie, I want to know what happened between you two. I never asked, but now it's definitely time for me," The blonde surgeon said and sat down next to April.

"You're sure this is a good idea? In my current condition? Really?" April asked in disbelief.

"Yup, I mean better out than in, right?"

"You're a horrible person."

"I know. It keeps me awake at night. But you have to tell me eventually, okay?"

"Yeah, Izzie, right. If he doesn't wake up, I'm probably never going to be able to talk about it, nor being the same person again. He changed me in so many occasions and...I can't imagine living without him...he...he changed me and I liked that. So no, I don't think I'm ready to talk about it now."

Izzie turned her head to the redhead and asked:

"Still wanna look the movie?"

April laughed and threw a pillow at her head saying:

"You're terrible, Isobel Rivera."

* * *

**So, what do you think? Please leave a review so I know what I could do better :)  
And, as you might noticed, I'm not good at keeping time lines, so for now, I'll be only updating on sundays :)**


	16. Losing My Religion

**Hey,  
Yes, I know it's not sunday, but I wanted to upload it before I go on vacation, so maybe I won't be able to upload on sunday, but I'll do my best to try it :)**

Thanks for reading and most importantly enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: If Grey's was mine, Jackson would have hugged April instead of just giving her a high-five ;-)

* * *

**Chapter XVI: Losing My Religion**

_"That's me in the corner  
That's me in the spotlight  
Losing my religion  
Trying to keep up with you  
And I don't know if I can do it  
Oh no, I've said too much  
I haven't said enough"_

"What is it about April that it made you jump in front of a gun?" Penelope asked while they walked through the vanilla beans.

"I should have recorded this, Sky and Josh asked me the same. Well...I know April since my first intern year and later we both survived the merger with the Seattle Grace...and a shooting...where I lost two of my best friends,"

"Yeah, I know, Reed and Charles, right?"

Jackson looked confused at his youngest sister...how...how did she know?

Penelope laughed and said:

"You never believed in the saying that your deceased loved ones are always with you, didn't you? And by the way I can see them here, too"

Jackson shook his head and laughed along with her. Man, how had he missed this...his whole family, Mark, Charles, Lexie and Reed.

"So, what is April like?"

"She's...caring and is able to read people very well. April is sometimes a little insecure, but this just makes you want to protect her, you know? And her smile and laugh is contagious, I...I mean when she smiles or laughs...oh god I'm sounding like a hopeless romantic."

Penelope smiled understanding and asked:

"Aww, you love her, don't you?"

Jackson chuckled like a little boy and answered:

"Yes, I do love her. And that's why I jumped in front of a gun for her."

* * *

April slowly opened her eyes and breathed out, she felt empty just like the night before. She looked at the clock, it was twelve a.m. ...Wait, it was noon? Shouldn't she'd been at work since seven o'clock in the morning? The trauma surgeon looked cautionary on her phone - it showed the same time. April jumped out of her bed and screamed:

"Izzie?"

The Ohio native heard a response from her kitchen and literally stormed into it.

"Morning!" Izzie replied smiling and took a sip from her coffee.

"IT'S NOON!" April yelled at her and grabbed her own cup of coffee which Izzie had pushed over the table.

"Everything's fine. Yesterday, I asked Hunt to give us the day off, so I could take care of you."

"Did you sedate me yesterday night?" The red-head asked and took a big sip of her coffee.

"Kinda. But I did this for you, so you won't be sleep-deprived...want more coffee?"

April formed and inaudible "what" and asked slightly frustrated while she ran her fingers through her red hair:

"Sooo...you planned somethin'?"

"Actually, yes. I have to distract you from what happened yesterday, so I'm gonna take you out. Put some clothes on and then we can go, okay?"

April shrugged and left for the bathroom saying:

"You won't let me chose, so I'm just gonna get ready, right?"

"Atta girl!" Izzie laughed and took a last sip of her coffee. She quickly cleaned up the kitchen, packed her things and was ready when April came out of the bathroom.

"So, whatever you're going to do to me, just please promise that before we go there, I can visit the hospital."

April just wanted to check on Jackson, how he was doing and everything. Actually, she wanted to spend all day, all night there just to be there when he'd eventually wake up. Mama Avery had been at his bed this night, April wanted to spend the next.

* * *

_At the hospital..._

April walked through the hallways of the CICU and finally arrived at Jackson's room. She was about to enter it, when she saw a foreign person sitting on a chair next to his bed, holding his hand. Her first thought was Stephanie but it clearly wasn't her, she looked different. April knocked slightly at the window and greeted the female quietly.

The women looked up and April knew instantly who it was - Cora. She had the same eyes like her brother.

"Cora, right?" April asked and put her hand out.

"And you're the girl who's responsible for this, right?" Cora asked coldly and didn't move to shook April's hand.

The red head took awkwardly her hand back and replied sarcastically:

"Yeah, it's a pleasure to meet you, too."

Another awkward break came up, just the noise of Jackson's device were audible.

"You know -,"

"Can you just shut up and go?" Cora hissed and looked angry at the few months older women.

"No, I won't. I know that you don't want to lose him, he's your last living sibling. And trust me, we're playing in this case in the same team, Cora. I don't even dare to think about what my life would be if he won't wake up, okay? I love him more than I ever loved any other guy. And I would change with him without hesitation, cause' it should've been me. Yeah, he's your brother and you two have been through a lot of serious crap, there's no need to tell me this. And I can totally understand that you're utterly pissed at me, but please stop telling me that I'm responsible for this here, 'cause you have no idea how often I've told myself in the last hours that it's my freaking fault. So, can you please stop?" April tried her best to hold back the tears, but eventually one tear ran down her cheek. She had been brutally honest with Cora, she'd meant everything she'd said.

Cora exhaled and answered quietly:

"I'm sorry for being too harsh."

"No, no, I mean it's your brother in the end," April replied understanding.

"Mom doesn't know I'm here, I just saw her storming out of his room this morning, leaving with another older doctor,"

"I guess it was Dr. Webber, he's her boyfriend."

Cora's eyes grew wide in shock. So this was the guy Jackson had told her about.

"Oh my god, Jackson told me about him, that he caught them in the morning in San Francisco. Heard you didn't pass?" Cora asked directly, but not thoughtfully.

The trauma surgeon swallowed and answered:

"Yeah, I was...a little...distracted. But I'll retake them next week in New York,"

April sat down on the chair on the other side of the bed and nearly tripped over her own foots when the cardio surgeon said:

"Distracted by my brother, right?"

April blushed and her face was fire-red. She shot Jackson a quick deadly-gaze but then sat down and answered:

"Yes, but I don't think we-," she began but was interrupted by the other women.

"Was he a gentleman?"

Damn, Cora was direct, she had this from her mother. April thought about what she should say. Jackson had been a perfect gentleman for sure and she wouldn't change anything about how it had been, but talking with his sister about their sex life? Better not...

"Yes, of course, but I'd feel better if we would stop talking about my sex life, okay?"

Cora laughed, but asked:

"Since I haven't talked to my mom yet, can I ask you how long they planned to place him in an artificial coma?"

"Dr. Hunt said for at least a week, they'll wait until he'll wake up."

Cora nodded and looked to the window where Christina appeared.

"Who's she?" Christina asked April and looked at Cora.

"I'm Caroline, his sister."

The cardio surgeon from Seattle nodded and asked again:

"You're a surgeon, too?"

"Of course, I'm a cardio attending at the St. Ambrose Hospital in Los Angeles. And you are?"

April looked expectant at Christina, who had called herself a cardio whore. She just hoped that the two cardio surgeons won't start arguing.

"Christina Yang, cardio. I came here to check on him."

"No need, I checked on him twenty minutes ago. I also read his medical file, he's fine."

Christina raised her eyebrows and replied:

"I cautionary check on him again, but thanks."

April got up and said before she left the room:

"Before you start bitch-fighting I go and beg you to do this somewhere else, please."

* * *

"So, where do you plan to go with me today?" April asked as she went with Izzie to her car.

"Secret! How's Jackson?"

"He's fine, but I met his sister Cora. She's...very direct...and very much like her mother. She asked, whether Jackson was a gentleman during my first time. I mean, really?"

Izzie couldn't stop laughing, she needed five minutes before she was able to even start the car.

April smacked her arm and Izzie replied innocently:

"What the hell-

The trauma surgeon pointed her finger at her best friend and laughed:

"You know what that was for!"

But then she felt guilty because she laughed. Jackson was in a coma and she laughed. She shouldn't laugh, she should sit next to him and cry her eyes out. But...she couldn't. April loved him more than any other one, she was sure of this, she shouldn't tell herself this the whole time.  
But would Jackson wanted her to just sit next to him and cry? No, she guessed. Why didn't she pray? Because the universe was mean. First they were on a good track getting together, but then Yusuf came and shot him down. Why would god do this? How in the name of himself did he let this happen? And then she realized how much this little fucking bullet had taken her. It had taken Jackson and with it and barely her faith in God. She was slowly losing her religion.

* * *

Jackson talked with Penelope for hours when he finally asked one question that he was burning to ask.

"Why does my heaven look like a vanilla farm? I've never been on one, so why?"

"Interesting, for me it looks like our old park, you know, right in front of our house," Penelope answered and smiled bright at him.

The park in front of their old house had been huge and trees had stood everywhere and big, colorful flowerbeds had grown everywhere. They'd even built a big tree house on the oldest tree they had found and when they were little kids they had played, that the knight saves the princess before the dragon could eat her.

"But why is it a vanilla farm for me and our old park for you?"

"It's from person to person different, for dad it looks like the Central Park where he met mom for the first time and for Josh it looks like a tropical island because of Hayley, you know his wife, who was from Hawaii. It shows us what we connect the most with the good or extraordinary parts of our life, where we were especially happy, or to who we feel the most connected."

Jackson smiled when he heard what the "heavens" of his family looked like. And slowly he realized why it was a vanilla farm. Before he went unconscious, he had smelt April's shampoo...vanilla. His heaven looked like a vanilla farm, because April was the good and extraordinary part of his life, the reason he wanted to live.

"You want back to her, right?" Penelope asked a little sad.

"Yes, of course, but I don't want to leave you guys here, you know? It's been such a long time and I don't want to lose you once more."

"You wouldn't lose us, one day you'll come back and that hopefully as a bent, 140 years old grey-haired grandpa with 20 great-grandchildren, okay? You could come back to them, especially to April. And trust me, she's not doing well without you, I saw it."

The plastic surgeon laughed about how his youngest sister pictured him as an 140 years old man. But he was surprised about how Penelope knew about April's condition.

"You...you really know how she's doing?"

Penelope burst out into laughter and repeated:

"You still don't believe that the deceased ones are always with you, don't you Jackie Boy?"

* * *

**Again, thanks for reading and please take a minute to leave a review or suggestion, thank you! :)**


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